Fates
by EJ Daniels
Summary: Not all destinies are welcomed with open arms. Even though we run we can not truly escape our fates, no matter how much we think we'd like to. (Formerly titled Thirst & Hunger)
1. Thirst

**Chapter 1 - Thirst**

_I'm thirsty_.

The simple words rolled around in her mind as softly as a drop of water within the bottom of a bottle when twirled. _How long?_ How long had it been since her last sip? How long since the last satisfyingly quenching drink? _Three years, seven months, five days, 23 minutes and 6…7…8…9...10...seconds; but who was counting_ she thought as she rolled to her side with a soft pleasurable moan, memories of that day called to mind.

She had returned to her room after the morning classes had finished only to find a folded piece of paper on her pillow. Crossing from the door to her bed she had retrieved the paper from its comfortable resting place and with curious fingers had unfolded it. Upon reading the words penned there in the most graceful of script, writing she knew all too well from the weekly letters she received, was an invitation. It was not just any invitation, but a secret one, one to join her in the Secret Gardens. Her hands began to tremble as excitement coursed through her.

_How can she be here? When did she return? Would they let her onto the grounds?_ These thoughts flashed through her mind in the first moments after reading the words for yet a third time. _She graduated two years ago._ Still, just the thought of seeing the other girl was enough to invoke a strong reaction as her heart began to race and she could feel herself growing warmer. All at once the room which contained her seemed stuffy and oppressive. Her pristine St. Miator's uniformed felt constricting and uncomfortable!

Folding the piece of paper multiple times she slipped it inside her uniform, beneath her brassiere so that it rested directly over her heart. With a soft gentle smile at the thought of having the author of the secret note that tightly against her heart and her skin, she couldn't help but blush and sigh tenderly as she rested one hand against her uniform where it hid the treasured parchment. Turning she stepped from the room, closing the door behind her and started off down the hall.

Passing a clock in the hallway her eyes suddenly grew large! "EEK!" she exclaimed as she broke into a run. The note had said to meet at the Secret Garden at one o'clock and it was already twelve forty-five! The sixth year student ran for all she was worth from the Strawberry Dorms and did not pause or slacken her pace till breathlessly she pushed open the library door and slipped inside to the cool dimness of the room within.

She stood there for long moments leaning against the closed door as her chest heaved, straining the fabric of her uniform. Lungs strove mightily to draw in enough air to appease the demands of her body. It was a cool early spring day outside and the chill of winter still hung in the air. Perhaps it was due to this that her cheeks were a warm rosy red in color, though it very well could have been due to the anticipation of seeing the other girl; even she didn't know for sure.

Pushing off the door she strode down the corridor between the bookcases, her heels tapping out a steady, if overly loud cadence as she made her way to the area known as The Secret Gardens. She recalled that the Secret Gardens were not really gardens but were rather rows of high shelves with narrow walkways between them. Wheeled carts spanning two meters in height and laded with books were rolled to obscure the ends of the isles presenting those within the illusion of secrecy from the rest of the world around them. Couples often used these secluded areas for planned rendezvous for both innocent as well as amorous meetings. Blushing she recalled her first visit here with the girl she was to meet today and that they had peeked in upon a pair of Spica students who were definitely of the later sort of rendezvous.

As she walked past the many carts covering the end of aisle ways, her thoughts wandering about other visits here with the girl she was to meet, she thought for a moment, even though it was certainly unlikely, that the world shifted. The cart of books on her right was suddenly closer than it should have been as if the cart had shifted in her general direction of its own accord. Even as this fact registered within her mind as she continued to walk past the area an arm, clad in the same uniform as hers, suddenly reached out, wrapped around her waist and digested her back within the darkened space behind the book cart. The cart moved again with a soft auditable tab as it came into contact with the edge of the bookcase sealing her within.

Soft moist lips brushed her ear, more a caress than a kiss. Warm strawberry scented breath exhaled, slowly blew across the moistened skin sending shiver of pleasure down her spine. Petrified, her body refused to respond, to call out, and to do anything that a normal person would if suddenly captured and dragged into a dark secluded confined area. The scent of roses finally registered, within her mind feverish with fear something clicked and she found that she could function once more. "I've missed you my little Daisy," breathed a satiny sensual voice into her ear causing that longed for shiver to traverse her spine once more.

Turning in her lovers arms she used her body to drive the other girl back till they thudded into the bookcase there abruptly, drawing a soft moan of pleasure from the girl who had captured her just a moment before. "Not nearly as much as I've missed you," she replied before her lips found the other girls and drank deeply of the sweetness she had longed to taste for the past two years. Hands, inept from lack of use as well as experience, traveled across the girl's body, over her stomach, around her waist and up her back for long moments before their lips parted with a gasp for air and she took to nibbling on her lover's soft neck instead.

The capturer, turn captive, couldn't stifle the moans of pleasure the other girls touch was bringing her. "You have missed me," she retorted with as she leaned down and nibbled on the other girls ear grinning at the purr of pleasure she received in response for her actions. "How much?" she asked as her hands dropped from the captive turned capture's shoulders and slid down the girl chest and across the heaving mound of gentle softness. She couldn't help but chuckle as the previous purr turned into a growl of pleasure.

Lying on her bed within the hotel room she moaned loudly recalling the taste of those lips, the feel of their fullness pressed against hers, the delicious dance their tongues had performed together. Heat spread through her radiating from between her breasts and building as it worked its way lower to the junction of her legs. The girls back arched abruptly as her head fell backwards and her eyes glazed over. A tremor ran through her body as she reached the pinnacle of her self induced pleasure. With a ragged sigh she collapsed back onto the bed and rolled onto her side, her moist love scented hand slipping free from her panties.

A soft indulgent smiled played across the girls lips as her eyes remained closed. She recalled the pleasure her lover had given her that day. How she had played with her, building her need, her desire till she thought she would explode with the hunger for release. Only then, after she could no longer hold a coherent thought had her partner allowed her release and appeased her hunger. The remembrance of the musty scent of old books was still within her nostrils as she drifted off to sleep. Her last thoughts…

_I'm hungry_.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

This is my first step into the Strawberry Panic! arena so be gentle with me please. Owning both the anime as well as the omnibus of all three novels it's hard to decide on which to write for as they are very different in nature. I'm not sure just yet where this is going as the Muse, as with all my stories, tends to drive the arc. I guess you'll get to see when I do. I hope you enjoy this opening offering and I am already starting on the next chapter.

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the _**Strawberry Panic!**_ light novel series.


	2. Hunger

**Chapeter 2 - Hunger**

_I'm hungry._

The girl stalked around the small apartment she was currently renting not sure why she couldn't sleep. _No, I know why_, she said silently to herself_. It's because I'm hungry!_ _How long has it been since last I tasted that soft succulent morsel? How long has it been since I sated my hunger upon the richest and most enticing of feasts?_ Too long was all she could answer as it pained her far too greatly to count the days and hence she had told herself to stop at some point.

With a low growl of frustration she walked to the kitchen area and opened the refrigerator, staring at the contents for several long moments but not seeing anything. Slamming the door closed she turned away realizing that what she hungered for wouldn't be found there or at any store or restaurant for that matter. No as what she hungered for wasn't a thing, but rather it was a she. _Three years, seven months, five days, 23 minutes 1…2…3…4...seconds; _she thought glancing at the watch on her wrist realizing that she had not listened to herself about not counting any more. _No, I could never stop counting_ she finally admitted to herself. "Even when not here she makes me be honest with myself," she said to the empty apartment in a slightly amazed tone of voice at the revelation.

With a resigned sigh she grabbed her coat and left the apartment allowing her feet to carry her where they would as her mind traveled back in time. She didn't care where she went but she knew she couldn't stay there any more as she felt caged. When was the last time they had been together? With a fond chuckle to herself she recalled that early spring day.

She had been traveling abroad as was required by her family and had just returned home. There was only one thought on her mind as she entered her room and tossed her stuff down on the bed. _I have to see her!_ Nothing else mattered at this time to her. _But how_ was the question she didn't have a ready answer for as yet. Walking to the closet door she opened it, the fluorescent lighting automatically turning on upon the door opening, and stepped into the walk-in closet that was large enough to be another room. Surveying the large assortment of clothes displayed before her, trying to determine what would be appropriate to wear for their reunion after all this time, her eyes alighted upon her old St. Miator uniform and a cunning smile crossed her lips.

Dressed in her uniform she had boldly walked directly onto the campus without being challenged. _The key to going any place was to make it appears as if you belonged there._ Seeing the uniform and taking note of the purposeful attitude being displayed, the guards at the gates didn't do more than glance in her direction as she strode boldly onto the Astraea Hill school grounds. There was something very comforting about being back on these familiar grounds where she had spent the majority of her life. _If anything_, she thought as she walked towards the Strawberry Dorms, _this is really returning home for me_.

She followed the cobbled walkway that led to the main gate in the wall around the dormitory. This would be the riskiest part of her plan she knew. Luck was with her that day however as none of the girls that she walked past recognized her if they knew who she was still. Still, there were a great many of them that stopped, turned and followed her departing figure with a wistful longing stare. She smiled softly noticing the looks and feeling the eyes upon her back. _My poor little daisies, so easily drawn towards the sun_, she thought to herself realizing that it had been a long time since she had thought of others in those terms. _After her there was no need for anyone else. I can be myself when I'm with her. She's the only one in this world that I love! _Picking her pace up to avoid the possibility of running into someone she knew, the girl soon found herself before the bedroom chamber she was looking for.

Room No. 6001 N. Aoi

Is what it read in gold leaf font on the green name plate in front of her eyes. Turning the door handle she slipped into the room and silently closed the door behind her where she rested with her back solidly against the closed door. For a long moment she just stood there her eyes regarding the room that brought back so many memories. _What's the chance of her having the exact same room I had_ she pondered as she crossed to the desk and selected a piece of parchment and a writing utensil?

_Meet me in the Secret Garden at one o'clock.  
>If you're late I'll have to punish you.<em>

Gently she folded the paper once and then set it upon the proper pillow. Smiling gently she reached down and pinched something between her thumb and index finger. As she pulled her hand away from the bed a long red hair followed it. Wrapping the captured hair around her fingertip she slipped out of the room and from the building and made her way to the library. She knew that morning classes would end soon and that the owner of the red hair she had liberated would soon be returning to her room and would discover the invitation left on the pillow.

Bearing a smile filled with anticipation she slipped into the old library building and made her way towards the area used for rendezvouses by amorous lovers, The Secret Garden. Slipping into one of the empty aisles she waited till she heard the bell ring signaling the end of morning classes. Minutes passed as hours, or so she felt but in due order the person she had invited made her appearance. As the girl strode past her hiding spot she moved the cart blocking the end of the aisle and reached out wrapping her arm around her waist and pulled the unsuspecting girl backwards into the closed off area, sliding the cart laded with books back into place making them their own little room. "I've missed you my little Daisy," she whispered in a sultry voice into the ear of the girl she loved.

The red headed girl suddenly squirmed and turned in her arms. She could feel the others body pressing against her own, driving her back till she thumped into the book case. Sensing the others desire she couldn't help it as a moan of pleasure escaped her lips. She was no stranger to displays of desire from others but this was the first time that the girl she loved had displayed such forcefulness. When the younger girl finally spoke it was to say "Not nearly as much as I've missed you," which sent a delicious shiver down the taller girls spine. Any reply was forestalled as young soft pink lips suddenly closed with hers and she found her voice stolen away as those same lips drank hungrily of hers.

Gasping for air their lips finally parted only to have the younger girls descend and play across the soft skin of her neck eliciting a soft moan of desire from her. _At this rate I won't be able to think straight soon_ she thought to herself not at all against such an occurrence should it happen. "You have missed me," she said in a husky tone of voice as she leaned forward and nipped the top edge of the shorter girl's ear playfully. The responding growl of hunger caused her pulse to race and her heart to beat maddeningly against her chest. "How much?" she asked encouraged by what she had heard. The feeling of teeth nibbling at her neck was her answer which thrilled her greatly and brought forth a long and sensual moan of delight from her.

The taller girl brought her hands up and onto the younger girls shoulders and then slowly started to lower them traversing the expanse of the now trembling girl's shoulders, down the plains of her chest, over the gentle swell of each young firm breast. Once more there was a growl instead of the playful purr she had heard before and once more a delightful shiver traveled the length of her spine. _You make it so hard to play nice_ she thought as the younger girl's lips on her skin sent waves a pleasure coursing through her.

Using her hold and body this time she turned, pivoted around 180 degrees, rolling their bodies together till the younger girl was now pinned against the bookcase instead. "I love you Aoi Nagisa," she stated in a voice filled with longing and desire as her lips fell upon the younger girls and her fingers moved without hesitation to the buttons of her lovers' uniform.

The loud noise of the train pulling into the station suddenly jarred the silver haired beauty from her thoughts. Once the train had stopped and the doors opened she walked in and took a seat in the back where she could stare out the window. In a few moments the doors closed and the train pulled away from the platform and the lights of Tokyo flickered past her view. It was late at night and the only other people on the train were a young couple at the other end of the car whose lips were locked together as if they were one set of soft flesh. Though she did have a proclivity towards voyeurism and her pulse was still racing from her thoughts of her lover she none the less turned away and regarded the passing city outside. _Can I really call her my lover these days?_

It had been two weeks since the last time. _The intervals are getting shorter_ she thought to herself as the train sped down the track towards the other side of town. When it had all started the first time it had taken three months for the first call to come in. When it had she didn't understand it at first as all she heard was silence on the other end. The call lasted no more than a minute and the line went dead. She had called the other girls name multiple times into the phone during that minute but never received a response. A phone call and she quickly was provided the GPS information as to where the phone was located at. Upon reaching the location all she found was the phone itself...Nagisa's phone…the phone now held in her hand and taken everywhere with her these days. _Ring damn you!_ She knew it was just a matter of time, till then she thought back once more to that fateful day within the Secret Garden.

Their lips finally parted as their need for air was too great to be denied any longer. "Shizuma-oneesama," the younger girl gasped as her fingers entwined within the long silver mane and pulled the older girls lips down to her neck. "I've missed you so much, Shizuma-oneesama!"

"Oh my Nagisa, I've missed you too!" she stated as the last of the offending button came free and she finally was able to slip her hands within. Her lips found Nagisa's neck even as her fingertips caressed the silky surface of the soft camisole the other girl wore beneath her uniform and she could feel Nagisa's body quiver in response to her touch. Her lips danced a trail of wet kisses upwards till they found the girls this time and drank deeply of them, enjoying the soft sweetness of her taste. When the other girl moaned softly she did not hesitate but rather thrust forth her tongue and entered the others mouth. Hesitantly at first but with growing confidence the younger girl returned the tongue play and even dared so far as to enter Shizuma's mouth exploring every area she could reach. After several long moments their lips parted as once more the demand for air was too great to be denied. Shizuma's mind whirled with a heady intoxicating feeling left from their long and passionate kiss. Her lips already wanted another taste and then another as she couldn't get enough of this girl who had walked into her life one day out of the blue.

Shizuma's hands moved and pushed the offending uniform off the younger girls shoulders allowing it and the skirt to drop to the floor in a pool around Nagisa's feet. Looking down she saw delicate fingers that shook ever so slightly undoing the buttons to her own uniform. Surprised and excited by the others boldness she raised her head till she could look into the eyes of the girl before her. In those eyes she saw love and desire and a clear understanding and consenting of the consequences of their actions if they continued. Seeing the same look she knew to be in her own eyes she pulled the girl to her, crushing their bodies together as her lips drank deeply, tasting her, running her moisture across her own lips and mixing with it. Tongues shot forth and dueled first within one mouth and then the other in an intricate dance where neither won nor no one loss.

The speaker located in the ceiling directly over her head sounded off loudly pulling her thoughts back to the present and announcing that this was her stop. As she rose from her seat and exited the train when the doors opened she could still feel Nagisa's lips against hers, could still taste the sweet flavor they offered only to her that day. Leaving the station she made her way several blocks over to a hotel. Waving to the attendant as she walked through the lobby she went to the elevator taking it to the fourth floor. Once she left the elevator she made her way to room 407 and slipping a key from her pocket she opened the door, entered and then closed it behind her, throwing the bolt to securely lock it.

For a long moment she leaned against the closed door. Running her tongue over lips that were suddenly dry she finally moved away from the door, shedding clothes as she slowly walked through the hotel room. By the time she reached the side of the bed she stood there nude for a long moment regarding the empty bed before slipping beneath the covers. _She slept here_. The thought that her love had slept there just two week previously sent a warm shiver down her back. Inhaling deeply she could still just make out the other girls scent. It wasn't as strong as it had been two week previously when she had first slept here and every night it grew fainter but it was still there. Once more she licked lips that were suddenly dry and longed to drink of Nagisa's wonderfully sweet ever pleasing lips. As slumber claimed her the last thought she had was…

_I'm thirsty._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

The Muse is stepping out though she's not as comfortable with these characters just yet. We can but hope that the Muse will get better with time. Again, this is my first FanFic for Strawberry Panic! so I hope I can entertain you at least a little in some way…maybe just at my attempt at writing this? :-)

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the _**Strawberry Panic!**_ light novel series.


	3. Addiction

**Chapter 3 - Addiction**

The tile was cool and comforting against her forehead as the warm water from the shower ran down her nude form passing through divots and valleys, hills and crevasses caused by her natural curves and physical build. She stood there, the room filled with steam, shrouding her from the rest of the world but not from herself. No, she couldn't hide from her own thoughts no matter how favorable that would be to her sanity. _It feels like I have been running forever._ She was adrift upon the sea with no rudder to steer with and no destination to be directed towards. _It's safer not having some place to be._ For the last three years she had drifted from one hotel to another staying only long enough for her fixation to get the better of her. She had come to the realization that it always would, yet having realized this it didn't stop her from fighting it. Much like a person falling off a cliff will continue to try and grasp the air to arrest their plummet, so too did she try to fight the driving force with the same results. It was, she was quickly learning, an exercise in futility. She shuddered as a chill ran down her spine despite the warm water as she recalled the feeling of the other girl's lips on hers.

Every time she promised herself that she wouldn't do it again, that she wouldn't give in to the cravings this time. In her mind, as well as in her heart, she truly believed it. _This will be the time! _Her thoughts would tell her in a tone that made it all seem so incredible simple. _This will be the time I can beat this!_ A small voice told her inside her head that if she just kept repeating that, like a mantra, it would come true regardless of what happened this time._ This time I will beat her!_ This time even to herself those words sounded hollow, brittle and empty. She sadly realized that she was losing the will to fight. The thought of her hands…hands always so incredibly warm and gentle touching her…caressing her brought another soft moan to her lips, releasing it with a sigh of longing. How she wished that sigh could reach her lovers ears even as she cursed her debility for wishing it!

Each time it started almost always the same way, a case of mistaken identity be it by sight or voice. This time had been no different than the rest. The subtle flicker of a silvery mane caught out of the corner of her eye, as the person turned the corner and was obscured from view. There one second and gone the next so quickly that she questioned if she had actually seen it or not. Was it reality or was her mind playing a game of deception with her? Perhaps worse yet to her reasoning, was her heart telling her what she desperately didn't want to hear? What she couldn't admit? Hastening to the corner she had peered around it in trepidation, reluctant to confirm what her vision saw but perhaps, inside, she was more fearful of confirming she had been mistaken. Emerald eyes gazed longingly at her from behind her closed eyelids. _Where are you?_

If she was correct it would mean that, as in the previous occurrences, it was time to move again…time to find a different hotel to stay at. Tokyo had no shortage of hotels and boarding house she could find shelter in. She had, over the years, lost count of how many different places she had called home. _I should write a traveler's guide to the hotels of Tokyo_ she thought with a self-depreciating smile_. It's not like I have anything else to do with my time_ she thought to herself in a near hysterical voice in her head_._ Yes, the prospect of being correct in her assumption was far better than being mistaken. To have been mistaken would mean not seeing the object of her desire, her love…her Shizuma. _Can I really call her mine any more_ she had to ask herself? _Is this still a relationship?_

Her mind wrestled with that thought as she washed her body with soap and a washcloth. They had played this particular game of cat and mouse for years now. The time had been three to be exact though it was fast approaching the four year mark now_. I guess that in some twisted, codependent way it is a relationship of sorts._ She was certain that those within the medical field, especially within the psychology field, would deem what her and the emerald eyed goddess had, as not being healthy. _What the hell do they know!_ In her heart she knew that she continued this game of emotional tag because she didn't have the strength of character to let the other girl go. Perhaps it was a greater truth, one she hid from herself at all costs, that she didn't have it in her to allow herself to lose. Judging by the fact that the other had continued to chase her all this time it was becoming clear that Shizuma, like herself, either didn't have the strength to sever their remaining bound or chose not to. The later of those two made no sense to the redhead turned brunette. _That reminds me, time for another dye as I can see the red roots once again_ an idle thought bespoke to her.

"Shizuma….Shizuma!" Just the woman's name made her pulse race and her heart pound painfully against her chest as if it were attempting to break free and fly to the owner of that name. The pain was so real that her own hand flew to her breast and with every fiber of her being she wished it was Shizuma's. Her chest constricted and her breath rasped in her lungs as she rapidly inhaled and exhaled panting both in excitement and in fear. _How I hate that name!_ Gritting her teeth she reached over and turned the shower off before making her way to the bath tub and climbing in, submerging to the tip of her chin. "Shizuma!" _How I love you!_

The soft sounds of the bath water, the gentle ripples of her movement causing the water to gently slap against the bath sides was all familiar…too familiar. As the warmth of the water lulled her into a relaxed stupor her mind drifted back in time once more, back to the strawberry dorms and a life in high school. Events that now seemed worlds away depicted in a vision of a different life…a different Shizuma…a different her.

In the height of summer, when the heat was most intense, within the courtyard of the Strawberry dorms, surrounded on each side by a wing for each school, a shallow wading pool was setup and maintained. The pool was used by all and was the perfect way to end the long day, with a nice quiet soak. The pool itself was no deeper than need be to be able to sit upon the foundation of it and yet still be able to maintain ones head above the water level. Of course it is realized that those of shorter stature may have an issue but no so more than those of taller residing too high. Still most girls found it to be more than accommodating for their needs.

It was late, far later than anyone had the right to be awake at when Nagisa felt a gentle touch upon her shoulder and heard her name whispered by a warm moist breath within her ear. "Nagisa. My Nagisa wake up," said the voice that even then controlled her heart. Not even Tamao could wake her like the sound of Shizuma's voice could. Even in her deepest sleep she could hear that voice as it called to her, pulled her from her slumber and warmed her heart all at once. Seeing the other girl stir the silvery maned beauty quickly leaned in and placed her lips over those of the younger girl to stifle any sound she may have made. Never one to deny herself she hungrily kissed the sleepy girl till she felt the others arms rise up and wrap around her neck and start to pull her closer. "My Nagisa," Shizuma breathed heavily as she moved her lips from the others.

"This is a dream right," Nagisa asked in a soft whisper matching the other girls volume, still caught between the world of sleep and that of reality.

Shizuma smiled playfully and nodded ever so slightly. "That's right my little Nagisa, this is all a dream," she replied as she slipped from the younger girls arms and catching a hand moved away from the bed drawing the cute redhead with her. The tallest of the pair raised a finger to her lips motioning for silence as she led them from the room and gently closed the door behind them. Without error Shizuma led the pair down a set of stairs and through a door that brought them out into the courtyard. The two, hand in hand, ran across the lawn, their night gowns bellowing out behind them as they went.

The night was cloudless and a million stars shown above them as they walked through the ring of trees and the pool came into view. The moon, only currently half of its full self, glistened off the inviting water of the pool offering enough light to see by. "Shizuma-oneesama, s...should we be here?" the girl with red hair inquired as she turned to regard the leader of their excursion. The moon light radiating down caught the older girl silver wavy hair and it appeared to glow with a soft and gentle light which was all its own. To Nagisa, Shizuma looked like the goddess she thought of her to be, not that she ever had a doubt of that fact.

"This is all a dream," Shizuma reassured her as they neared the edge of the pool and she turn to face the younger girl whose hand she held tightly. With a gentle yet insistent tug upon that said hand she pulled the petite girl into her arms. "Anything is permitted in a dream," she added looking into the others eyes. Descending lips met those ascending in a passionate kiss which stretched until both were dizzy with the need for air. When their lips finally parted they mutually gasped for air. Shizuma smiled enticingly to the younger girl, "Come swim with me my Nagisa!" So saying, she reached down and grasped the sides of her gown and in a fluid and utterly graceful movement, pulled it off over her head revealing that she wore nothing beneath.

Nagisa's eyes were riveted to the nude form before her. _Oh no! I can't move!_ The redhead knew, for modesty's sake she should look away but her body wouldn't respond. The pale soft skin, aglow with moon light, captivated her attention and refused to relinquish it. _What if she thinks me rude for staring?_

Shizuma took note of the frozen expression of the other girl and smiled at the affect she had upon the one she loved. "I am flattered," she murmured softly as she advanced upon to stupefied girl before her. "We can't have you getting yours wet either she said," with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes that was clear to see even in the darkness. As reached Nagisa, she reached down and grasping the other girls hem to the night gown, quickly pulled it up and over Nagisa's head, removing it from her before she could protest.

The cool night air brushed softly across the newly exposed skin raising goose bumps as Shizuma stepped back to admire the stunning petite body before her, bare from the waist up. Nagisa's eye finally blinked as the world once more came into focus. "What a peculiar dream I had," she said softly only then noticing the nude form standing before her and realizing it wasn't a dream. "Shizuma-oneesama!" she exclaimed rather loudly. "You…you're…without clothes!" Nagisa's cheeks warmed and she averted her gaze from the devastating beauty before her.

Shizuma smirked at Nagisa's reaction. _She has no clue how cute she is when she blushes like that over something as minor as this!_ "Nagisa," she called softly. When the other girl failed to reply she closed the distance between them and slipped her arms around the redhead pressing her body again the other girls in the process as she held her tightly. "No more so than you are my Daisy," she whispered seductively into the younger girl's ear. "Well, almost as much," she corrected herself. Before Nagisa could move, strong slim hands slid down her sides, across her hips and delicate fingers dipped beneath the elastic edge of her panties. Unheralded, the older girl knelt quickly, abruptly removing the remaining article of clothing from the girl before her. "There, now we're the same," Shizuma stated standing back up. Nagisa was too stunned to react when Shizuma grabbed her hand and lead her into the pool. A gentle push on the younger girls shoulder soon had her kneeling in the water. "I won't touch you again," Shizuma said softly, "unless you want me to that is," she added in a coy voice.

Nagisa finally managed to stir as the water covered her body as she felt her cheeks grow warm. _I want you to_, a voice inside her head screamed. "It's…a…dream..?" she hesitantly asked.

Shizuma nodded slowly. "It's our dream my lovely girl. We can do whatever we wish," she assured the other.

"Whatever we want?' Nagisa asked slowly. Upon see the other girl nod she reached out and took the silver maned goddess's hand in one of hers grasping it about the wrist. Questioning eyes rose and looked searchingly into emerald ones for a long penetrating moment, seeing only love there she brought the captured hand to her chest and laid it upon her own breast. "I love you Shizuma-oneesama!" Nagisa's eyes closed feeling the warmth of that hand upon her person. "You're what I need!" the red head admitted with a soft moan filled with pleasure as the older girls hand moved to message and caress her softly, finger tips brushing teasingly across her budding excitement that was hardening upon the tips of each soft mound.

"I couldn't agree more," Shizuma whispered in a satisfied and triumphant tone of voice as her other hand joined the first upon the beautiful girls body.

_Thus began my addiction_, Nagisa realized reluctantly extracting her consciousness from those memories and returning to the present with the whisper of the silver hair vixens voice still echoing softly in her heart.

_How I need you Shizuma!_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Sorry for the delay in getting this done. The Muse has been off attending to other things being the fickle wench that she is! Read "other things" as other stories. There will be other chapters to this I've a feeling…next up will be Shizuma no doubt.

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the _**Strawberry Panic!**_ light novel series.


	4. Obsession

**Chapter 4 - Obsession**

She was held captive; an ironic fact that didn't escape Shizuma who was unerringly, at all times, the capturer. It wasn't anything she had planned for or had any suspicions that it might happen, at least not that day. While certainly she had always hoped that someday someone would come along and capture her heart, still, she had never thought it would be like this. Like all wondrous things it had happened completely out of the blue and utterly without warning.

She recalled that she had just ended her relationship with one of her little flowers and was making her way through Maiden Park towards the Strawberry Dorms. The fact that none of her relationships lasted for more than month was, she knew, completely her fault. It wasn't that she didn't want them to last longer. In fact she wanted to love her partner as much as they loved her, yet after a month the passion always left her. Though she could continue the relationship she felt it would be unfair to the little flower she was with to continue on if her feelings were not of the same level as her partner's. Despite the fact that her relationships were well known not to last longer than a month there was still a never ending stream of young girls who were willing to throw themselves into her arms. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she had stopped walking when suddenly she heard a young voice call out. "Excuse me. Is this the way to the Strawberry Dorms?"

_My, what an adorable young girl with such a cute ponytail,_ was her first thought upon looking up from the thoughts she had been lost in to regard the girl before her. "And whom might you be?" she had inquired of the redhead before her dressed in a St. Miator uniform and holding a large Boston bag.

"I'm a new transfer student who will be moving into the dorms today," the adorable girl had replied at the time.

"Then allow me to show you the way," Shizuma said extending a hand to the other girl. _She seems frozen in place,_ the older girl mused as several long moments passed without the other girl moving. Finally, just when she was certain that the red haired girl would not take her hand she reached out and grasped firmly the offered hand in question_. What a strong grasp she has. It's so unlike all my other little flowers who take my hand so delicately in theirs. She is so different._ Her eyes arose from glancing at their joined hands to lock with the stare of the other girl and it felt like an electric current passed between them. _Now what was that?_

Shizuma sat bolt upright in bed from where she had been lying remembering past events, her body still tingling with the memory of that day as the cell phone on the night stand, Nagisa's cell phone to be exact, suddenly rang. Before the sound from the first ring had faded away to nothingness the green eyed goddess had the phone open and pressed to her ear. "Nagisa! I'm here!" the nude woman exclaimed sitting in bed with her silver hair bellowing disheveled about her from a night of restless slumber. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you like that. Please talk to me. Tell me what I can do to make this end. Nagisa!" Shizuma's heart beat furiously in her chest; her breath came in short gasps, as she listened intently for any sound from the other end of the call. Long seconds passed with only silence answering her words. Knowing that her time was almost up she said what was in her heart. "Nagisa, I miss you! Please come back to me! I love you!"

On the other end of the line was a ragged sob followed by a very soft and hesitant "Shizuma-oneesama…" The words were followed by a quickly indrawn breath and the line disconnecting.

Shizuma sat there dumbfounded with the words '_Shizuma-oneesama_' echoing in her head repeatedly. It was the first time in nearly four years that she had heard the voice of the woman she loved and she didn't know if she should scream with joy or cry in despair at the brevity of it. The sound of a phone ringing in the other room interrupted her thoughts. Flipping shut the phone in her hand, her nude lissome form slipped from the bed and walked into the living room retrieving her pants and pulling the ringing cell phone from its pocket. "Did you get it?" she asked as soon as she flipped the phone open and placed it to her ear. "I see, where is she?" she asked and then listened for a moment to the answer. "Alright, send a car for me." There was a slight pause as she listened once again. "Yes I'm at her last place. Also send someone here to inform them that they can have this room back as I'll be moving to the new one." Without waiting for an answer she closed the phone dropping the call and quickly gathered the rest of her clothes so that she could get dressed.

Several minutes later found the silver haired woman sitting in the back seat of a nondescript white sedan traveling down the freeway. "I need to go by the beach house first," Shizuma informed the driver who merely nodded once to indicate that she had heard. _'Shizuma-oneesama'_. Those words continued to resound within her mind, though it was not the words themselves that affected her so deeply but rather the tone in which they had been spoken. _She sounded so utterly lost and alone_, Shizuma thought silently to herself as her heart ached for the woman she loved. _She's as lonely as I am_, she suddenly realized, though the realization did nothing to comfort her.

_Why? Why won't she stop this? Why for that matter do I continue to chase after her?_ Not for the first time she had to stop and reflect upon her own actions. With a weary sigh she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the seats headrest. _If I had only kept those words to myself we would still be together right now._ Inwardly she was still confused as to Nagisa's reaction, having suspected and hoped for something else entirely_. I never thought she would run away, though now that I think about it there was that one time. She ran from what she wanted then as well_, she mused as her mind traveled back to a summer evening.

"Whatever we want?" the cute little redhead, who was rapidly becoming the center of the older girl's universe, asked while sitting there in the water before her. Shizuma felt her heart leap erratically in her chest, not knowing what reaction her answer would bring, as all she could do was nod to confirm the words spoken. As the younger girls eyes arose and stared into hers she could clearly see there the longing and desire mixed with a healthy degree of uncertainty. Shizuma sat motionless, afraid to move, as any sudden motion might frighten off the girl with her. Mesmerized, her eyes dropped to her hand held at the wrist by the girl she loved. Transfixed by disbelief she watched, almost as if she was watching another's hand and not her own, as it was laid gently against Nagisa's exposed breast. "I love you Shizuma-oneesama!" Nagisa said as her eyes closed at the touch of the older woman's warm hand upon her person. "You're what I need!" the red head admitted with a soft moan filled with pleasure.

_Maybe this is a dream,_ Shizuma's dazed mind thought silently as she watched her hand move as it gently caressed the soft flesh beneath it as her finger tips teased the hardening excitement at the apex of the soft mound. "I couldn't agree more," she heard herself whisper in reply, her own voice sounding smug and triumphant even to her own ears. The sound of her voice seemed to break whatever spell she had been under. Once more in control of herself, the silver haired goddess brought her other hand up to the neglected orb of creamy softness suspended next to her hand where it lavished attentions upon Nagisa's breast. "You're the only one for me my Nagisa," Shizuma said in a husky voice just before she leaned forward and captured the younger girl's lips with her own.

Moving on her knees, she stepped forward till their bodies met. Shizuma slipped her hands away from the soft breasts and around to Nagisa's back, pulling her into her embrace as she deepened the kiss, running her tongue across the others girls lips till they parted and allowed her ingress. Both women moaned appreciatively of their tongues entwined, the moans accumulating into vibrations across their joined lips which excited them even further. Shizuma felt the smaller girls arms slip around her waist and clutch at her tightly even as she ran her nails lightly down Nagisa's back and downwards around the soft, round, swell of her pale cheeks which quivered, eliciting a squeal of reprimand from the ticklish girl.

The silver haired goddess pushed the smaller girl backwards, raising one arm to support her till Nagisa was draped over the arm, her body turned horizontal to the older woman's. "My Nagisa," Shizuma panted as she dragged her lips for the other's and slipped them along the younger girl's cheek till they found the soft tender skin along Nagisa's neck and slowly started to make their way downwards. Leaving a trail of peppered kisses in her wake, the silver haired woman's lips arrived at the younger girl's collarbone and were greeted by a moan of pleasure from the girl in her arms. "Shall I stop here, my Nagisa?" Shizuma teased nipping the soft skin with her teeth causing the body within her arms to shudder with pleasure.

"No," Nagisa exclaimed inhaling sharply as she felt her lover's teeth once more nip her delicate skin only to have the same spot soothed by the moist warmth of Shizuma's soft tongue. Before she knew what she was doing her hands arose and entwined in the luxurious soft silvery mane before her and with gentle yet insistent pressure she urged the older girl's wondering lips lower. As they trailed soft gentle kisses crossed the swell of her breast she could feel the rosy bud at her breasts summit become indurated with the pleasure that was coursing through her body. With maddening slowness, leaving a trail of burning fire across her skin, the lips she thirsted for circled lazily around her breast. "Shizuma…" she breathed in a desperate and needing plea for release from the agonizing desire she felt building within her chest, a warmth that spread, descending to accumulate between her legs. When the release came it was both sharp and sudden, bringing forth a cry of both pleasure and surprise, as the hard erect nub at the tip of her breast was suddenly captured and suckled by Shizuma's hungry lips.

Shizuma felt the small hands within her hair tighten and clench the moment she took the harden rosebud of the breast within her mouth. She couldn't help moan with desire at the younger girl's scream of pleasure brought on by her hungry lips that even now suckled upon the pale softness. As she brought her tongue sliding across the trapped pink flesh she held captive between her lips she could feel Nagisa's body shudder where it rested against her body and supporting arm. Slipping her free hand from the small of Nagisa's back she slid it around the younger girl's hip and then diagonally lower, till her fingers slipped amidst the auburn curls, sliding along the natural contour of the body beneath her touch.

The older woman's lips upon her person ignited a fire deep within her which she could feel building as she was suckled and teased by the flickering play of Shizuma's tongue. A burning need began to build in the pit of her stomach and radiate outwards as she felt herself grow increasingly sopping as the need for release intensified. As the minutes continued on she could feel herself reaching her limit as her body seemed to be set ablaze. Her mind, barely managing to retain a grip upon reality from the waves of pleasure which assaulted it, registered the touch of Shizuma's other hand as it slipped between her own legs. The caress of those long delicate fingers as they effortlessly slipped between the nectar enriched folds of succulent pinkness, and caressed the swollen petal of her womanhood, were enough to send her over the edge and into a pleasure induced coma as her body spasmodically twitched in the throes of ecstasy.

"Oh my," Shizuma said, both pleased and surprised at the results of her first touch, even as she felt the warmth of the other girl's nectar running across her fingers where they remained cupping Nagisa's searing womanhood tenderly. _I wonder if I'm her first_, she speculated to herself as the girl within her arms clung to her shoulder, though she didn't recall those same hands ever leaving her hair. Shizuma sat up and regarded Nagisa with a loving smile as she took note of the younger girl's afterglow and watched the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the soft shifting of her breasts and the rapid pulse that beat along the redhead's neck. "That was most unexpected," she purred in a sultry voice to the smaller girl who was only now starting to take stock of the world around her once more.

"Oh no," Nagisa said suddenly rising to her knees even as her legs trembled in the aftermath of the pleasure that had consumed her just moments before. "I didn't…" her words trailed off as she realized what had just happened and her face turned a bright shade of red that had nothing to do with her recent exertion. _I can't believe that just happened…in front of her_, she thought to herself as she lunged to her feet, embarrassed beyond anything she had ever experienced before. "No," she reiterated as her eyes grew large and her hand came to her mouth, her other arm trying in vain to cover her breasts self-consciously, as a look of shock appeared on her face. "I'm so sorry Shizuma-oneesama," she said swaying so unsteadily upon her feet that the older girl in question reached out as if to steady her, fearful she might topple over. "I…I have to go," Nagisa suddenly exclaimed shying away from the older woman's touch. Turning, the redhead ran off, pausing only long enough to retrieve her discarded night gown. _She must be so disgusted with me_, Nagisa exclaimed silently within her own head.

Still kneeling in the water with one arm outstretched to where her love was a moment before, Shizuma was too stunned to do or say anything for a long moment, as she watched the younger girl disappear through the ring of trees. Finally her hand dropped to rest upon her thigh as she sat back upon her haunches and smiled a bit bemused by the sudden turn of events. "Next time I'll have to get us a room," she said absently to herself and the night air. "One with a lock so she can't run off," she added.

The sound of her cell phone ringing wrenched her thoughts back to the present. Even though she knew it couldn't be Nagisa calling her heart still skipped a beat during that time it took her brain to identify the ring tone as not the one on the petite redhead's phone. Flipping the phone open she glanced at the caller ID before answering it. "You have impeccable timing as always Miyuki!" Shizuma said in way of greeting.

"I'm sorry, did I catch you at a bad time Shizuma," inquired Rokujo Miyuki, longtime friend and former Miator Girl's Academy Student Council President, ignoring the sarcasm in the other girl's voice.

"No, not really," Shizuma replied with a heavy sigh. "Just reminiscing about school and the wading pool they used to setup every summer," she clarified.

"…and about a certain little redhead I'll wager," Miyuki said, the humor in her voice conveyed across the call perfectly.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Shizuma retorted with, turning to look out the car window, only then realizing they were already on the private road that led up to the beach house which was their destination.

"Shizuma," Miyuki began with in a more serious voice, "what if she doesn't want to be found," she asked as she had on a number of other occasions.

"Then I need to hear it from her lips with my own ears," the silver haired woman replied as the white sedan approached the Hanazono beach house.

"How? She hasn't talked to you in four years," the voice on the other end of the call stated in exasperation. "She won't even allow you to get close enough to talk to her!"

"Three years," Shizuma countered with, "…and she talked to me just a little while ago." The silence on the other end of the line stretched on for so long that Shizuma took the phone from her ear and looked at it to make certain that the call hadn't dropped. "Miyuki?" she asked placing the phone back against her ear.

"Really," finally came from the other end of the line. "What did she say?"

"That's not important," Shizuma said, skirting the issue. "What is important is that she spoke to me!"

"Shizuma," Miyuki replied with, knowing her friend all too well, "what did she actually say?"

The silver haired woman sighed once more as the sedan pulled into the parking area and came to a stop. "My name," she finally replied with.

"That's it?" Miyuki asked in disbelief that her friend was getting worked up over so little.

"It's been four years!" Shizuma retorted with.

"Three years," her former classmate interjected, correcting her abruptly.

"Fine, three years, seven months, six days, twelve hours and 54 minutes, but who's counting," she exclaimed as the driver walked around and opened the door for her. "I…I haven't heard her voice in all that time," she added in a softer, disheartened voice as she slid from the vehicle and started to walk towards the house, the sound of distant breakers in the distance.

"Hey, is that the ocean I hear?" Miyuki asked changing the subject for the moment as her heart went out to her dear friend.

"I'm at the beach house right now as I need some fresh clothes," Shizuma explained reaching under her shirt and extracting a chain with a key on it. Using the key she unlocked the front door and walked in while slipping the key back under her shirt. "So why the call," she asked the girl on the other end as she closed the front door behind her.

"C…can't a friend just call another friend out of the blue," Miyuki asked.

"Miyuki, we've known each other for far too long to be doing this. It's giving me a headache," Shizuma said as she rubbed at her forehead with her free hand. "Let's stop dancing around each other and just get to the point of your call," she stated as she walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. The silence stretched on from the other end of the phone for long moments. "Look, if you don't have anything further to say I'm hanging up," the silver haired vixen threatened with a smile as her words brought about the desired response from the other end of the call.

"Wait!" Miyuki exclaimed quickly into the phone. "I'm worried about you," she finally admitted into the phone. "I haven't seen you in months. You don't return my phone calls and when you do it's quick and to the point, then you're gone again. I went by your house and the attendants there said you hadn't been there in over a year! What's going on with you Shizuma?"

"I've just been busy," Shizuma replied in a contrite tone of voice. "I took over the telecommunications division of the company a couple of years back and since then I've just been taxed with one thing after another. I would never have guessed just how busy the telecommunications industry could be!"

"I don't know if I buy that or not," Miyuki replied having serious doubts if the other woman was telling her the truth or hiding something. _If she's hiding something from me I won't be able to figure it out till she lets me_, she finally reasoned with herself as she recalled that was how it had always been between the two of them.

"What else could it be?" Shizuma asked as she opened the refrigerator and removed a bottle of water from it. Closing the door she turned and opened a cabinet, selecting a crystal glass she set it down on the counter top and opening the bottle filled the glass with water. "I have to show a profit for my division after I talked them into purchasing several of the major companies that provide cell phone coverage," she explained to her friend. "It's really such a bother."

"Are you sure it isn't this thing with Nagisa," Miyuki asked again returning to the original topic. "I can't help but feel that you're becoming obsessed with finding and talking to her again."

"Hardly," Shizuma replied with a chuckle. "I can only do something when she calls me after all," she reminded the other woman having told her the details of the situation three years ago when the calls were happening months apart. She hadn't updated her since and so Miyuki was unaware of the fact that the calls were coming quicker and quicker these days. "It's not like I haven't been keeping myself busy with other things over the last three years."

"Four years," Miyuki corrected her. "That's a long time to chase after someone Shizuma. I know you loved her…"

"I still love her," Shizuma quickly interjected to set the record straight. "She's the only one for me!"

"…alright, you still love her," Miyuki conceded, pausing as she knew her next words would most certainly hurt her dear friend. "What if she doesn't love you anymore and that's why she keeps running away?" Shizuma took a slow sip of her water allowing the silence between them to hang there for several long moments. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that," Miyuki finally said mistaking the other girls silence for pain.

Shizuma smiled to herself realizing that she could still manipulate her friend just as she did back in high school. "No, it was a valid question, Miyuki. I know I can always rely on you to ask the hard questions," she said setting the now empty glass down and walking out of the kitchen. "If that is the case then I need to hear it from her. If she says she doesn't love me then I'll drop the matter and leave her alone."

"Really? That doesn't sound like the Shizuma I use to go to school with who found an infinite number of ways to neglect her Étoile responsibilities and not attend required meetings," Miyuki retorted with, humor evident in her voice.

"That's just because there were so many cute daises wanting to bathe in my light then," Shizuma replied with a soft chuckle. "Even you did not escape that desire did you Miyuki?"

"No, even I wanted to bathe in your light Shizuma," the dark haired woman confessed readily enough as it was the truth. "Though that was then and this is now," she added to clarify before the silver haired goddess on the other end of the call could become too full of herself.

"Yes that reminds me, how is your significant other these days?" Shizuma asked as she walked through the house towards the stairway leading to the second floor.

"She's worried about you as well," Miyuki replied in all honesty.

"Worried about me?" Shizuma scoffed in disbelief. "I would think she would be more worried about Nagisa then me." Past histories die hard sometimes she realized as soon as the words left her mouth. Though it was not her intent to hurt her friend she realized that drudging up that subject would do neither of them any good.

"We're worried about the both of you, Shizuma," she replied ignoring the small pain of jealousy she felt in her chest and knowing that feeling that way was just foolishness on her part. There was no doubt in her heart that the person she loved did indeed love her back just as much, if not more so in fact! _We all have people we loved and lost_, she thought to herself recalling one in particular.

"I'm sorry, Miyuki. That wasn't called for," Shizuma said in a contrite voice. "I really am happy for the both of you. I'm just tired I guess," she added as she climbed the stairs to the second floor. "Please forgive me," she asked of her friend.

"There's nothing to forgive," Miyuki assured her having learned long ago that such exchanges between friends were normal and nothing to get upset about. "Tamao-chan was the one who mentioned being obsessed," she continued with. "If anyone would know about such things and Nagisa it would be her. I think she just didn't want to see you go down the same road she did," Miyuki said recalling the all too unpleasant memories of that time in the younger girl's life.

"Thank you. I'm most definitely not obsessed," she reassured her longtime friend. "At least not yet," she added in an attempt at levity to lighten the mood.

"Good," was the quick reply from the other end of the phone call. "See that it stays that way or I may just have to track you down and lecture you like I used to!"

"Yes Madam President!" Shizuma replied with a smirk that was clearly heard through the phone by the girl on the other end. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to take a shower. Unless you want to rush over and join me," she offered in a seductive voice into the phone. "It will be like old times Miyuki!"

"Thanks, but I'm already spoken for," Miyuki replied with a grin upon hearing the old Shizuma in her ear. "Shizuma…" she said in a more serious tone of voice.

"…I know where to reach you, Miyuki, if I need to talk," the silver haired woman finished the sentence for the other girl as she reached the top of the stairs and stopped. "Thank you Miyuki." Shizuma knew that no matter what happened or how many years passed between them, she would always love and respect Miyuki as her closest and dearest friend.

"That's what friends are for," Miyuki replied upon hearing the heartfelt words of thanks from the woman she would always love and cherish.

Shizuma closed the phone with a snap after they said their farewells. Before her were two doors, the further of the two lead to her own room, the other to another bedroom. It was however the nearest door that she walked to, the bedroom which had first belonged to Kaori and then later to Nagisa who had used it considerably longer as they spent a great deal of time here. Slipping a key from her pocket she reached down and unlocked the bedroom door before turning the doorknob and pushing the door open. Upon entering the room she quickly turned on the light and then closed and locked the door behind her before turning once more to face the room while leaning her back against the closed door. Before her was an empty room, devoid of all furniture that had once been there. Every inch of all four walls, as well as the ceiling, was covered with picture of Nagisa. "I'm home Nagisa-chan!"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

I hate when you want to write but real life gets in the way. My apologies for the slow updates on this story arc, I've been swamped at work as well as working on a different story for another fandom. I know, no excuse, but there you have it anyways. I still have no clue where this is heading which could also account for the slower updates. I make no promises as to when the next one will be either. I have to wait for the Muse to let me know just like all of you.

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the **_Strawberry Panic!_** light novel series.

(edit: 020712 - 5050)


	5. Regrets

**Chapter 5 - Regrets**

"You don't have to give me your answer right now," Shizuma's words whispered softly into her ear. The silver haired love of her life was spooned up close behind her, their nude bodies nearly merged into one with their legs entwined beneath the sheet. "Just think it over for now my Nagisa," Shizuma added.

The warm breath brushed seductively across the fine hairs of her ear. Her body, covered in a fine sheen of sweat from their love making suddenly shivered as a cold chill ran down her spine. "Shizuma-oneesama," Nagisa replied in a tone mixed with surprise and fear, unable to believe she had heard correctly. "B…but aren't you leaving soon," she questioned the woman she loved, knowing full well that the older girl would be graduating tomorrow. This was to be their last night together.

Shizuma nodded slightly before bringing her lips in close to kiss the back of Nagisa's neck tenderly, causing the younger girl to shiver with pleasure. "The day after tomorrow," she affirmed with a smile upon feeling her lover's reaction at her touch. "The graduation ceremony is tomorrow and then dinner with the family in the evening. The following morning I'll be boarding a plane for France and travel abroad which, as I told you previously, I'm required to do," she affirmed.

They had talked about this previously, even before their relationship blossomed into being lovers, how Shizuma's family required her to travel aboard directly after graduation. The purpose of this was to broaden her horizons and hopefully instill in her a sense that the world was much larger than just her country of origin. To the younger redhead it just meant that she would not see her love for nearly two years. Nagisa clasped the other woman's arm that was wrapped around her midsection and pulled it in possessively around her. "Do you really have to go so soon," she asked yet again.

"Ssshh," Shizuma cooed into the back of the younger girls head before kissing it affectionately. "We can't do anything till you've finished your school my little Daisy," she replied softly. Inhaling the younger girl's scent deeply, she wondered when would be the next time she would be able to inhale the rich fragrance she loved so dearly. "I'll be back before you graduate though and we can work out the details then. The time will pass quickly," Shizuma assured her. "I'll write you every day." While she could easily tell Nagisa that the time was not that long, within her own heart she wondered how she would ever manage without the petite redhead by her side. "You know," she said in a seductive voice which caused the younger girls pulse to start to race, "I'm not gone yet and it is several hours till morning…" Soft full lips nibbled at Nagisa's shoulder as a delicate hand slid along her body and cupped one pert breast. Hearing the younger girl's soft sultry moan at her touch was all the encouragement Shizuma required. _I guess we won't be getting any sleep tonight after all_, she thought to herself with a satisfied smirk.

Nagisa berated herself for the hundredth time. _I can't believe I said her name!_ Just the thought of it sent a thrill of pleasure down her spine. The brunette was sitting at a small diner just down the street from the hotel she had made the call at a few minutes ago. She had decided to wait and see what happened and hence had asked to be seated at the table near the window that afforded her a clear view of the hotel she had been staying at. Once before, when this chase first started several years ago, she had returned to her hotel room only to almost run into the very person she was trying desperately to avoid. Since then she had made it a rule to never go back once she had made the call. Even as she watched a non-descript white sedan pulled up and parked at the side of the road in front of the hotel.

The waitress, dressed in a low cut top with an overly high hem line outfit, came over to take her order. _I might as well treat myself while I wait_, she figured. "I'll have tea, heavy on the cream and sugar, as well as a slice of your cake," she informed the waitress who took her order in a slightly greater than bored manner. Nagisa stared out the window and watched the white sedan as she waited for her order to arrive. Even after all these years her one weakness was sweets. She just couldn't say no to them. _I'm amazed that I'm not considerably wider_, she thought to herself as she self-consciously ran a hand down across her flat abdomen to reassure herself of her continued thinness. The waitress returned shortly with her tea and cake. Taking a sip of the tea Nagisa quickly added more sugar to it till it suited her preference. Looking towards the cake her mouth started to water as her eyes took in the chocolate goodness covered by a cherry glaze and whipped cream that adorned the top of the slice. _Where have I seen this before_, she asked herself as she sat there. Suddenly, with vivid clarity, she recalled that it had been several years prior, while she was still attending school and wore a St. Miator's uniformed. Sitting there her mind once more relived that memory as if it were just yesterday.

"Nagisa-chan," Tamao asked as soon as the redhead stepped from the head sister's office, "Is everything alright? I heard you had been called in and I rushed over as quickly as I could." The dark haired girls face reflected her concern for her roommate.

Nagisa couldn't help but feel touched at the concern she saw mirrored in her friend's eyes. "I'm fine Tamao-chan. You worry too much," she chided her best friend gently as she balanced the package she was carrying in both her hands. "I received this package and was called here to collect it," Nagisa explained as she started walking down the hall with the shorter girl falling into step beside her.

"What is it," inquired the smaller girl who was dressed in the same uniform, her blue black hair that was done up on a bun upon the top of her head. Tamao-chan reached out and felt the side of the package and was surprised to find it cold to the touch.

"I don't know as yet," Nagisa replied, a hint of curiosity entering her voice, as she eyed the brown wrapping that had only her name written on it and in heavy black marker the words 'DO NOT TILT'. "It was delivered by special carrier the Sister said. Let's go back to the room and open it," Nagisa suddenly squealed.

"You're such a child, Nagisa-chan," Tamao replied though the excitement in her own voice was evident to her friend. There was nothing like a good mystery to stir a girl's curiosity.

"I am not," the redhead pouted as they hurried to their room. "I just want to know what it is!" The two fifth year students arrived at their room and after going inside and closing the door set the package down on the short table. Carefully they removed the brownish colored packaging paper to reveal a white nondescript box with an envelope taped to the top of it. On the front of the envelope were written the words '_Do not open till tonight's tea party'_. "Did you order it, Tamao-chan?"

_Nagisa-chan is too cute_, Tamao thought to herself as she regarded the curious expression upon her roommates face. Tamao shook her head in way of answer. "Maybe one of the others did and forgot to mention it," she offered.

The small redhead had to use all of her self-control to refrain from opening the box right that instant and seeing what the contents of it were. "Well, I guess there's nothing we can do now but wait," she said is a disheartened voice.

Tamao couldn't help but giggle at the dejected look upon the face of her best friend. _Nagisa-chan is just so adorable! _ Since Shizuma had graduated the two roommates had been growing closer and closer. _Shizuma may hold my Nagisa's heart for now but I will win it back_, she thought earnestly to herself. "Come," the smaller girl said after standing and extending her hand to the redhead. "It's nearly time for dinner so we should wash up." Seeing Nagisa still eyeing the white box Tamao added with a knowing smile, "They are serving your favorite dessert tonight Nagisa. I'll let you have mine," she offered to synch the deal.

True to form the redhead squealed and took her best friends hand as she jumped to her feet. "What are we waiting for," Nagisa exclaimed happily as she nearly dragged the smaller girl to the bathroom so they could wash up.

After dinner they worked on their homework together and then took turns bathing alone. Nagisa declined Tamao's offer to wash her back for her. In this manner evening turned to night and soon it was time for their usual tea party. The table was set and the tea was just about ready when the first knock was heard on their door. Upon answering it Nagisa welcomed Yaya and Hikari warmly, opening the door wider for them to enter before closing the door to the room. No sooner had the door been closed and she had taken a step away from it when there was another soft knock from outside it. Opening the door Nagisa smiled to Chiyo-chan and Tsubomi-chan and let them in as well. Nagisa closed the door and draped a blanket across the bottom of it to conceal any light that may shine out. Upon turning back towards the table she saw four sets of eyes staring at the white box. As the young redhead took her place at the table all the eyes turned in her direction. "What?" Nagisa asked trying not to squirm under their direct scrutiny.

"Nagisa-oneesama, what is it," Chiyo-chan inquired, her eyes round in wonderment looking back towards the white box in the center of the table. The others were quick to voice their support for the younger girl's inquiry.

"I really don't know," Nagisa finally responded with once the others had finished voicing their queries. "It arrived today with the note saying to not open it till the tea party tonight," she responded with pointing to the letter on the top of the box that clearly stated not to open till the tea party. "We thought…" Nagisa glanced to Tamao quickly before continuing, "…that one of you may have ordered it." At the blank stares and nods around the table Nagisa sighed heavily being no closer to determining what was in the box or even who it was from.

"Well, it is the tea party and we're all here," Tamao chimed in with suddenly into the silence, "So why don't you open it now Nagisa-chan?"

Nagisa nodded and with stern concentration she removed the envelope from the top of the box and set it aside to investigate later. With barely contained excitement she cut through the tape holding the box closed using her finger nail and then opened the box. Inside resided six different pieces of cake each one a masterpiece in its design and presentation which extracted appropriate sounds of awe and appreciation from all around the table.

"They look almost too beautiful to eat," Hikari said unable to remove her eyes from the pieces of cake.

"Yeah are you sure these were meant for you, Nagisa-chan," Yaya inquired, impressed with the quality of the desserts within the box as well.

"It wouldn't have been addressed to her if it wasn't meant for her, Senpai," Tsubomi replied with a roll of her eyes before Nagisa could say anything.

"Thank you Na-gi-sa," Yaya replied, articulating each syllable distinctly, to her kōhai with a smirk that caused the pink haired girl to look away in a huff.

Nagisa lifted the envelope and opened it and then pulled out a piece of paper. Written on the paper in delicate hand writing she was becoming familiar was a message that brought a smile to her face.

'_Saw these today and thought of you so I had them shipped none stop. Hope you enjoy.'_

The paper was signed with a heart followed by the one name that was etched into her heart, _Shizuma_. Nagisa read the letter aloud to those gathered which brought _ooh's_ and _aah's_ and smiles of approval. Nagisa smiled and blushed thinking of the silver hair woman she loved and just how thoughtful she was even when not there. Shizuma had only been gone a month and yet Nagisa already missed so much that she didn't know how she would get through the remainder of the two years apart.

It was quickly decided that Nagisa would get first choice as the cakes were sent to her after all. The redhead had a hard time deciding as they all looked delicious to her but she finally settled a piece of chocolate cake covered in a cherry glaze with whipped cream on top of it. The others quickly made their selection based on age while Chiyo-chan served all of them tea.

"Was there anything else in the envelope?" Yaya asked curiously.

Nagisa set the plate down she had just served her cake on and reaching over picked up the envelope and peered inside. There was in fact something else in there that she had missed the first time. Slipping two fingers she drew out a photograph. As she looked at it her breath caught in her throat and she could feel her eyes misting up. The picture was of her beloved Shizuma-oneesama, whom she missed dearly. The older girl's left hand was suspended in the air slightly to the front and above her head which was tilted backward. From the older girl's forefinger and thumb of the suspended hand, dangled precariously by its stem, was a large red cherry. The older girl's lips were partially puckered and opened while in the act of capturing the suspended fruit when the picture was snapped apparently. Nagisa's eyes were transfixed upon the soft full lips so near to the cherry. How she wished that she was that fruit as she longed for the other woman's kiss.

"Look there's writing on the back," Tamao who was sitting next to Nagisa pointed out. "Wish this was you," she read aloud. Perplexed faces all around the table appeared upon hearing those words and their confusion only deepened when the young redhead suddenly crushed the photograph to her bosom, effectively hiding it, and turned a bright cherry red.

The return of the waitress to refill her teacup broke her from her reminiscence. Glancing down at the yet untouched piece of cake she realized that it was the same cake that she had selected that night those many years ago. _What am I doing here_, she wondered as she took her first bite, finding the taste of the cake to fall far short of her remembrance of the cake from the first time she had it. Her attention was suddenly caught as she detected movement out in the street. Glancing down the road towards the hotel, she saw a second white sedan pull up and come to a stop behind the first one. The driver, dressed in a black business suit with her chauffeur's hat set smartly at a slight angle, quickly got out and walked around to the rear door on the passenger side and opened it. For a long moment nothing happened and then the familiar mane of silvery hair came into view rising from the back of the sedan like the moon cresting the horizon on a dark night.

_Shizuma!_ Nagisa's heart ached in her chest as she beheld the woman she loved. The silver crowned head swiveled as the older woman scanned the area. For brief moment Nagisa saw the flash of emerald eyes and a jolt went through her as the gaze of her love swept over her. The false brunette couldn't move as her body refused to respond to her screams within her mind to flee while she still could. Much like upon their first meeting, the younger girl found herself transfixed by the older woman's beauty and presence even from this distance. As quickly as the gaze arrived, it swept past her and the silvery haired goddess turned and strolled boldly into the hotel. _My Shizuma-oneesama_, her heart ached at the first sighting of the woman in over three years.

The clatter of her fork bouncing off the ceramic plate startled her back to reality. Glancing down she realized she must have dropped the utensil on accident. _She looks thin, far thinner than she was before. I've never seen her look so worn out and tired. Am I the cause of that?_ Nagisa couldn't help but wonder if the past several years had taken a toll upon the older girl. _What can I do_?

What had at first started as self-denial, a denial of what she wanted for what she believed was better for the woman she loved had changed to remorse. At some point over the length of their game of cat and mouse she had crossed the point where she couldn't return and ask for forgiveness. _I can't just say I'm sorry and go back to her and expect to be accepted_, she reasoned. _There's no way she would accept me back after this long_. Nagisa glanced down at the partially eaten cake and realized that she no longer had an appetite for it. Rising from the table, she quickly paid her bill and then slipped out of the diner and made her way in the opposite direction of the hotel.

_Why? Why couldn't I just have agreed with her? Would it really have been that difficult to do?_ The brunette walked randomly turning corners till she found a bus stop where she sat as she awaited its arrival. She had been resolved to live her life without the emerald eye goddess. Resolved to the fact that Shizuma would have a better life without her in it. Resolved to the fact that without her there the older woman would be able to marry, maybe even into royalty which she had previously turned away, and settle down and be happy. At some point her resolve had turned into regrets. Regret that she didn't agree in the first place. Regret that she didn't apologies after running away and ask for forgiveness. Regret that she hadn't voiced her concerns and spoke openly with the silver haired love of her life. Regret that the only way to keep the woman she loved in her life was to continue upon this course indefinitely. It was with regret that she boarded the bus when it arrived to take her to some other place, some other hotel. In her heart she knew her greatest regret was not being with the one person she loved, Shizuma.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

The Muse has been on hiatus for a while now so I apologize for the slow updates. I think there may only be a few chapters of this story left….then again who knows?

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the **_Strawberry Panic!_** light novel series.


	6. Remorse

**Chapter 6 - Remorse**

The covers on the futon shifted as its sole occupant stirred and stretched provocatively even though there were none present to witness. "Nagisa," soft sensual lips mumbled with a flirtatious sleepy smile. The sleep fogged brain slipped back into the throes of the dream it had nearly drifted from.

"No! We can't, Shizuma-oneesama," Nagisa gasped both appalled and frighteningly excited by her partner's boldness. "Not here!"

Shizuma's lips, always tasting of strawberries, curved up in her prefect temptress smile that Nagisa had come to realize she had little defense against. Even as she sat there upon the older girl's lap the young redhead felt a shiver run down her back at the sultry yet coy look of her emerald eyed goddess. "So then you don't want me to do this?" Shizuma asked playfully as she slipped her hand within the younger girl's Miator uniform where she had skillfully undone two of the buttons in the front of it. Shizuma was rewarded with feeling Nagisa's arm, currently resting around the back of her neck stiffen and the younger girl's hand resting upon her shoulder suddenly grasp hold as her palm came into contact with Nagisa's soft tender abdomen and slowly slid upwards.

Nagisa couldn't help herself as she allowed her head to roll backwards till it came in contact with the side of the confessional in which they were currently seated. "How did I allow you to talk me into this, Shizuma-oneesama?" Nagisa gasped out as the older girl's finger tips slipped under her bra to graze the lower swell of one breast. A soft throaty chuckle was the response.

Shizuma chuckled softly, more a purr than a real chuckle upon hearing the smaller girl in her lap gasp at her touch. _My little Daisy, if you only knew what you do to me!_ "I thought this was all your idea," Shizuma replied as she teasingly moved her hand sideways to softly run her finger tips along the bottom edge of her lover's other breast while lifting the offending bra high enough that it moved upwards on its own, releasing the beautiful bounty which it had started to heave against the restraining fabric.

Nagisa's breath caught in her throat as she felt her bra move up and her soft mounds drop free where the silver maned love of her life could thankfully get to them. The smaller girl at least had the presence of mind to raise her head up and look at her lover who was busy undoing the remainder of the buttons on the front of her school uniform. "Me? I never said anything about coming here." Whatever else the young redhead was going to say in her defense was quickly forgotten as Shizuma's warm palm slid agonizingly slowly over her breast, brushing across her quickly hardening pink nub and sending a pleasurable wave of warm down through her body to settle in her rapidly moistening neither regions between her legs.

The emerald eyed sixth year student shivered herself upon feeling the body of her lover responding to her touch. _This is one of the many reasons I love her so,_ Shizuma mused even as she continued to fondle the soft excited mounds within her grasp, eliciting moans of appreciation from their owner. While the elder of the pair certainly loved to be pleasured, when it came to Nagisa, Shizuma found that it pleased her far greater to pleasure her lover than anything else. It was this very need to put the other first that told her time and time again that the redhead was the only person in the world for her. It wasn't just the pleasurable things either, though she certainly enjoyed those as well. More and more the former playgirl of Astraea Hill found that in almost everything she was placing Nagisa's wants and feelings first. _So this is what love is? Who knew being so focused on someone else could feel so wonderful?_ "As I recall, it was you that said you had missed confession and needed to go?" Though already late in the afternoon the two girls had made the hike to the Astraea chapel only to find that it was empty. The Sister and Father who were normally in attendance had been called away to the school office on some matter requiring their attention. Never one to pass up an opportunity, Shizuma and pulled Nagisa into one of the empty confessionals and then sat the girl in her lap sideways. "As we have time I thought I'd give you something to confess," Shizuma added with a smirk as she finally managed to push the offending uniform far enough aside to behold the hidden fruit awaiting her hungry lips. Shizuma moistened her lips as she leaned in with a feral grin. "If you only knew what you do to me," she exhaled softly, her breath causing goose bumps to appear upon the tantalizing delicious breast that was mere inches away from her lips now. Suddenly someone knocked on the door. "Go away," Shizuma growled at the interruption without even looking up from the object of her desire. Once again there came a persistent knocking. "Damn it! I said go the hell away!" Shizuma yelled as she sat up rapidly, the covers to the futon falling away from her nude body. Once again there came a pounding at the door. Spitting out curses the nude emerald eyed goddess stomped across the clothes covered floor to the door. "WHAT!" Shizuma yelled yanking the door open so hard that the hinges protested.

"Interesting choice of attire," Tamao replied with an emotionless tone of voice as her eyes ran down and back up the form of the nude woman before her. "You've lost weight."

Shizuma eyed the woman in the hallways. Tamao was dressed in a long black dress with long sleeves that seemed to blend into the black gloves on the younger girl's hands. The collar of the dress seemed to come all the way up to the petite girl's ears while the bottom hem of the dress nearly brushed the ground. "A damn sight more comfortable than what you're wearing, Mary Poppins," Shizuma replied doing the same and allowing her eyes to run down and back up the smaller girl's firm. _No bare skin below her chin_, Shizuma mused. _Nothing's changed since last I saw her._

"Wake up on the wrong side of the futon did we, Shizuma-sama?" Tamao asked.

The nude woman took a deep breath, her ample breasts peeking out from beneath the silvery mane which only barely covered them, as the woman's shoulders rose and fell. "You have the same impeccable timing as your partner," Shizuma cryptically replied recalling that Miyuki had interrupted her while recalling some pleasant thoughts of Nagisa as well.

"Are you going to invite me in or are you waiting to flash someone else that may walk past?" Tamao asked in a voice once more devoid of emotion.

"I don't know," Shizuma counter with as she shifted her weight to thrust out one suggestive hip even as a coy smile blossomed upon her face. "That depends, is your girlfriend with you?"

For a moment Shizuma saw the blank emotionless face before her shift as a pained looked crossed it but it was quickly hidden once again. "No, Miyuki doesn't know I'm here," Tamao confessed glancing away from the green eyes before her. "If you're not going to invite me in I'll just go then." Setting actions to words the blue-black haired petite girl turned to leave.

"Wait," Shizuma called reaching out but then quickly drawing the hand back as she saw the smaller girl tense. _That's right, no touching_, Shizuma reminded herself. "Please come in," she offered as she turned and walked back into the room, pausing to gather up her clothing from where she had discarded them on the way to bed last night. "To what pleasure do I owe this visit Tamao-chan?" Shizuma inquired as she got dressed once she heard the door close behind her.

"Miyuki is worried about you," Tamao replied turning away from the door she had just closed to regard the older woman. "With good cause it would seem. When's the last time you had a proper meal?"

Shizuma shrugged only because she herself couldn't recall the last time. "I'm fine. I was planning to lose a little weight anyways," the former Etoile offered with a dismissive smile as she walked over to the kitchenette area and opened the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. "Want one?" Shizuma asked arching a brow towards the smaller girl and holding up the bottle. Seeing the other girl decline she shrugged and closed the refrigerator only to stay there and lean against it.

The two former students stood there for several long moments, each regarding the other. Shizuma, while puzzled by her former kouhai's visit, realized it must be something important to bring the reclusive girl out from behind the safe walls of the house she shared with her partner and usual guardian angel, Miyuki. As Shizuma continued to watch, more than willing to allow the petite girl as much time as needed, she couldn't help but recall the events that led up to Tamao's current condition.

Nagisa's sudden disappearance had affected everyone who knew her. Shizuma thought it had hit her the hardest but in retrospect she wasn't so certain of that fact. While Miyuki had spent her energy trying to console the distraught emerald eyed goddess no one had bothered to keep a close eye on the petite girl who had been Nagisa's closest friend all through her stay at Astraea. From a family with wealth and influence ranking well up on the social ladder, the determined girl garnished every resource she could to locate her dear friend. Long after her parents had asked her to give it up Tamao had continued to search, often looking into leads all by herself. Her searching led her down many dark paths and into the seedier side of Tokyo. It was one of those paths that landed the petite woman in an Intensive Care Unit for several weeks followed by several more weeks in the hospital followed by rehabilitation and sexual assault counseling that still continued to this day. Miyuki was the only person that could touch the petite girl without setting her off into a screaming fit that lasted till she collapsed from exhaustion. Even the _Princess of Rokujo-in_ couldn't banish the evil spirits that plagued the former poet. While the details of what had happened to the petite woman were still unknown, Shizuma could well guess at the depravity Tamao had experienced at the hands of her abductors. Whatever had happened had gone on for days before they had discarded the girl's body leaving her for dead.

Tamao reached into the handbag dangling from her arm, her movements breaking Shizuma from the dark memories of that time. Shizuma recalled trying to console her friend Miyuki and never feeling so utterly helpless as she did at the time. The small blue-black haired girl set a tablet computer down on the table and stepped back from it. "I want you to watch something," Tamao said with a slight nod of her head towards the tablet.

Shizuma walked over to the table, keeping it between herself and the other girl who had made certain to place it there in the first place. Picking the tablet up Shizuma looked down and then hit the play button on the touchscreen. The video application played back footage which must have been taken from a surveillance camera which is usually used on the outside of buildings. In the video Shizuma saw herself get out of her car and look about. She suddenly recognized that this was from yesterday and had been taken right outside the hotel she was in currently. Nagisa had stayed there two nights prior, in the same room they were in and the same futon Shizuma herself had slept in last night. "This was taken here yesterday?" Shizuma asked glancing up towards the other girl who just nodded. The video played on to show herself walking out of the field of view of the camera as she entered the hotel office. A puzzled looked crossed the silver haired girl's face as she continued to watch the video which only showed the occasional passerby walking along the sidewalk. The video finally played out, stopping upon the last frame showing an elderly couple walking their dog and women exiting the dinner a little ways down the street. "Okay, what am I looking for and how did you get this?"

"You're not the only one with resources, Shizuma-sama," Tamao replied as she set an envelope down on the table and slid it over towards the older woman before stepping back again. "Several security companies are among the Suzumi family holdings. While not on par with your cellular resources they do occasional prove useful."

Shizuma reached down once the petite girl had stepped back and lifted the envelope and opened it before pulling out the photographs within it. As she started to flip through them her paced quickened as her hands began to shake. Grabbing the tablet again she replayed the video, stepping past her part and replaying the part of the woman with brown hair walking out of the diner down the street. "My Nagisa…," Shizuma spoke in a soft heart wrenching tone as she watched the girl in the video turn and walk away from the camera and proceed down the street till the video paused. The former Etoile slowly sank to her knees as they refused to bear her weight any longer. Once more the green eyed woman looked at the photographs, realizing they were enhanced images showing the reflection of the brunettes face in the front window of the dinner. "She was here," Shizuma uttered in disbelief even as she looked up towards Tamao.

Tamao nodded in agreement. "She was waiting for you," the smaller girl said. "She wanted to see you I think. Almost as much as you want to see her judging by the risk she took of being discovered." Shizuma could only nod as her eyes stared at the picture in her trembling hand. While not the clearest there was certainly no mistaking that it was her Nagisa. _Dye her hair red and slap a Miator uniform on her_, Shizuma mused already knowing it was the girl she loved. Shizuma started as a handkerchief suddenly appeared in front of her. Looking up from the black gloved hand that offered it, the image before her eyes blurred as tears trickled down her cheeks. "Really! This is no time to fall apart," Tamao chided the older girl as she dabbed at the tears upon Shizuma's face.

The mere fact of having the other woman tend to her in this manner was enough to shock Shizuma out of the emotional stupor she had fallen into at the sight of Nagisa. _Maybe it doesn't extend to her touching others, just others touching her? Anyone other than Miyuki that is._ A momentary pain of jealousy fluttered through Shizuma's heart as she realized that she was no longer at the top of Miyuki's heart and never would be again. Just as quickly as it came, it vanished as she considered all that the girl before her had been through and was still going through. _I hope Miyuki can be everything that you need, Tamao-chan_, she sent her silent prayer off to whatever Powers may be listening. "Thank you," Shizuma said from the heart as Tamao stepped back and pocketed the handkerchief.

"So what do you plan to do?" Tamao asked towards the older woman sitting upon the floor staring at the image of Nagisa's reflection. Tamao could almost hear the gears churning within the silver maned head.

Shizuma tried to process the possibility that Nagisa had possibly been there every time, watching from a secluded position. She didn't think it likely, but couldn't rule out the possibility either_. I should deploy people all around the area and have them keep an eye out for her. That might work but then what?_ An image of her people forcibly detaining the younger girl just didn't seem to be the right thing to do. _Does she even want to be found?_ That was perhaps the hardest question for the older woman to answer and the answer which she feared the most. Shizuma was certain her heart couldn't take it if Nagisa really didn't want to be with her. The past four years had been built upon the belief that the younger girl really wanted to be found. Often the thought of holding the slender redhead once again had been the only thing to keep Shizuma going day in and day out. _Does she want to be found?_ "But she said my name last time she called," Shizuma said aloud, more to herself than to the other present.

"If I might offer a suggestion?" Tamao asked. Shizuma looked up and blinked once slowly as if returning from a distant place, only then recalling that she wasn't alone. Seeing that she had the emerald goddesses attention once again Tamao continued, "If she's staying around to see you and even spoke to you then perhaps she's ready to come back." Shizuma hung on every word, uncertain where the younger girl was going with this but willing to hear her out in the hopes it would reunite her with the holder of her heart. "You've run her to ground but I think you need to stop chasing after her," Tamao said thoughtfully only to hold up a hand to stop the explosive argument she could see building in the face of the other woman. "Hear me out for a moment," Tamao requested. Shizuma, with great difficulty, swallowed the words she was about to say and sat back. "You've been chasing her for almost four years now and she's always run away. I think it is safe to assume that as long as you chase after her she'll continue to run," the blue-black haired girl said as she worked her way through the problem at hand. "Rather than chase after her, you need to make her come to you or make it so you get to her before she can flee." Tamao brought one arm across her chest and cupped the elbow of her other arm as she rested her chin in her hand as she continued to contemplate the issue. "She is so used to you chasing after her that she may see it as the only means by which to keep you in her life. Her one last thread leading back to you."

Shizuma thought over the other woman's words carefully for several long minutes. "There's something else you haven't thought of," the former Etoile finally said causing Tamao to look over to her. "Pushing the issue may also cause her to cut that final thread."

The two of them regarded each other for a moment before Tamao shrugged slightly. "I never said it was a perfect plan," she admitted. "If you're fine with the status-quo then by all means do nothing. I personally think you'll both live long and utterly miserable lives," Tamao said it so matter-of-factly that Shizuma didn't doubt her. "Or…you risk it all and go for broke."

Shizuma thought about it, her eyes falling upon the photo of Nagisa once more. The mere sight of her lover made her heart ache. _It's almost worse now that I know what she looks like and that she was so close! _ Shizuma sighed in frustration. "Thank you Tamao-chan," she finally said. "I'll have to think about it for a while. I'm not sure I can risk losing her completely." The smaller girl simply nodded, not having expected Shizuma to come to a decision right away. She, perhaps more than any other, knew just how hard it was to give up Nagisa once the girl had taken a hold within your heart. "Is there…anything I can do for you, Tamao-chan," Shizuma inquired suddenly concerned for the other woman and wanting to do something for her in return.

"Well, how about we keep secret my little visit between you and I," Tamao asked with a hopeful look upon her face.

"I'd imagine that Miyuki wouldn't take too well to discovering that you're still searching for Nagisa," Shizuma said in way of reply. After the previous events that had landed Tamao in the hospital near death, Miyuki had extracted a promise from the petite girl to give up the search. The older of the pair had confessed that she didn't think she could survive should something happen to the former poet.

Tamao rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. "I'd never hear the end of it," she confessed. "She would go on and on about how it wasn't proper. How it was dangerous. How I had broken my promise," Tamao did a fairly good impression of the former Miator Student Council President which caused Shizuma to chuckle in appreciation having sat through more of her friend's lectures than anyone else.

Shizuma, still grinning, injected on her friends behalf, "She only does it because she cares about you, Tamao-chan."

Tamao paused and tilted her head to the side slightly as she regarded her former schoolmate. "I know. She's rather sweet that way, isn't she?" the former poet replied with a soft smile.

Shizuma could clearly see the love the petite girl held for her dearest friend. "Yeah," Shizuma agreed with a soft affectionate smile of her own, "She certainly is."

"She's worried about you, Shizuma-sama," Tamao said as her face suddenly became serious once again. "We both are."

Shizuma ran her fingers through her disheveled hair as she chuckled nervously. "I'm worried about me to," she admitted as she got to her feet to cover her own embarrassment. "Thank you. Thank you both for worrying about me." The two woman locked gazes and something passed between them, or so it felt to Shizuma. There was an understanding there that hadn't existed before. They both understood just how impossible it was to let the little redhead go. "Are you sure there isn't something I can do for you," the heir to the Hanazono family inquired one last time as she walked the smaller girl to the door and opened it for her.

Tamao paused and, turning slightly, laid one hand upon Shizuma's forearm. "Bring her home. Bring her home before something like what happened to me happens to her." Shizuma swallowed heavily and couldn't respond past the lump in her throat. The silver mane shifted as the older girl simply nodded in way of answer.

Closing the door after the blue-black haired woman had left, Shizuma returned to the table and once more stared at the picture of Nagisa. _What if she doesn't want to be found? What if all this time I've been chasing her she just wanted to be left alone?_ Shizuma realized that if that was the case then she had just spent the last four years of her life chasing after a girl that didn't want anything to do with her. Perhaps worse than that to her was the realization that she may have been ruining Nagisa's life for the past four years. _Why? Why did I have to ask her that? If I had just kept my damn mouth shut!_ Not for the first time the silver haired woman berated herself for that impulsive side of her that acted before she even thought through the consequences of her actions. Shizuma's heart ached for the woman she loved, for the time they had missed these past four years but also due to the remorse she felt at having caused these events in the first place. _I should have asked her what she wanted_!

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

My apologies for the terribly slow updates to this story. I've been rather engrossed in my MGSM fandom of late and so have let this story slide for a bit. I'm hoping to do some serious work on it now though so please bear with me as we see exactly where the Muse is going with this one.

louis08 – thanks for giving me a push by requesting the next chapter. I do appreciate it!

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the **_Strawberry Panic!_** light novel series.

(082112 - 4235)


	7. Sacrifice

**Chapter 7 – Sacrifice**

Nagisa stood upon the balcony of her rented room and looked out over the outer fringe of the city. She had traveled to the furthest edge of Tokyo, unable to bring herself to leave it entirely. Over the past several years she had tried many times to leave for other areas of the country, but the invisible tether that tied her to her silver-maned, emerald eyed goddess held her firmly in place. Nagisa sighed softly, realizing once again that she could neither run from nor run to the one person that held her heart. Taking a seat in one of the narrow, wide-back wicker chairs on the balcony she pulled the heels of her feet up on the edge of the seat, drawing her legs in tightly to her chest with her arms. The late afternoon sun shone down brightly, its warmth lolling her into a relaxed, tranquil state. Dark, sleep deprived eyes sagged as she rested her head upon her knees. Since seeing the woman she had fled for nearly four years now, she had been unable to sleep soundly or for any great length of time. The warm sunlight and gentle caress of the enticing breeze embraced her gently as her eyes closed and she dreamed of a time long past.

Nagisa smiled as the chest her head rested upon rose and fell, trying to draw in much needed air. Just moments before her lover had screamed her very name as she had reached the climactic moment, thanks to careful ministration by the red head. The love making had been anything but gentle as tomorrow would see them parting for two years. It had been demanding, rough, harsh and even frustrating at time as they attempted to fit two years of physical intimacy into a single night. Nagisa brought her hand up from between the other woman's legs and lapped the rich, intoxicatingly heady, scented moisture from her fingers eagerly. "I love your taste," she said appreciatively even as she felt a shuddering aftershock course through her lover's body.

A pale, delicate hand arose and captured Nagisa wrist, pulling the member upwards past the young girl's head. A warm shiver traversed Nagisa's spine and ignited sparks of pleasure within her core as she felt moist warm lips enclose one of her still wet fingers and suckle it gently. "I think I'll have to agree to disagree with you," Shizuma said after provocatively extracting the finger from between her lips ever so slowly. "While I admit I don't taste bad, my preference is for your flavor rather than my own." Having sampled what she wanted to, Shizuma released the younger girl's wrist and sighed contentedly, her carnal appetite sated for the moment.

"I think your opinion is a bit biased, Shizuma-oneesama," Nagisa replied with a short laugh as she brought her now freed arm back before her to finish the cleaning that had been so untimely interrupted.

Shizuma snorted once, moving Nagisa's head up and down slightly. "And you're not?" she enquired disbelievingly.

Nagisa couldn't help but admire the ample, pale mounds directly before her eyes which wiggled enticingly as her lover's chest quickly rose and fell. "Well, maybe a little," she admitted with a slight giggle as she snuggled in as close as she could. "Can we just stay like this forever?" Nagisa asked after several long minutes of comfortable silence had passed.

Once again the lovers settled into a comfortable silence with the smaller girl's nude form draped along one side of Shizuma even as the sixth year student's arms encircled her captured daisy. "What if we could?" Shizuma asked softly. "What if we could be together forever?"

Nagisa's heart clenched, causing it to skip a beat or so it seemed to her. They had talked about a great many topics since the election and their subsequent flight from the chapel. They had discussed school, the Étoile election itself and just how difficult it had been for them both. Their discussions had even covered Shizuma's study abroad for the next two years, a matter Nagisa was none too comfortable with at the moment.

The fact that tomorrow would be her lover's graduation day certainly didn't help matters. Though she understood that the older girl was required to study abroad by her family, her own heart hurt every time she thought of it. _Just how will I survive without her here?_ Still, with all they had discussed, the one topic that they had not discussed was their future after the planned study abroad. The twain, either through unspoken mutual agreement or perchance by happenstance, had each shied away from addressing anything past Nagisa's own graduation in two years. "W…what are y…you saying, Shizuma-oneesama," Nagisa asked in a quivering voice.

Nagisa felt the woman under her shift slightly to one side as if trying to get a look at her. The young red head was far too nervous to move or look up at the silver-haired goddess and so steadfastly remained where she was, head resting upon her lover's chest. "What if we lived together," Shizuma's voice behind her head clarified even as Nagisa heard the voice resound within the chest her ear lay upon. "We could spend our days together and lounge about like this whenever we wished to," Shizuma clarified as she raised a hand and ran her fingers through the younger girl's hair affectionately. "Would that be so bad?"

"N…no…," Nagisa hesitantly replied.

Shizuma was quiet for a long moment before responding. "You almost sound as if that's not what you want," she said in a slightly hurt tone of voice as if pained to even think that she could possibly be right in her assumption.

"How could you offer that?" Nagisa asked, knowing her words would only further confuse Shizuma. "You have your family to think of. I am certain someone such as yourself has countless obligations already planned for you." Nagisa hated to admit it; however she knew that someone as wonderful as Shizuma could only be destined for the brightest of futures. _Surely she is meant for greater challenges than lounging around with me every day._ Nagisa firmly believe that there was nothing the emerald-eyed goddess couldn't do if she set her mind to it. While she knew very little of the business world, there was little doubt that someday the woman she loved would inherit the Hanazono holdings among other things. _Where exactly do I fit in that? Do I fit at all_, she wondered. Try as she might Nagisa couldn't envision herself in the world which Shizuma was destined for.

"I can give it all up," was the speculative reply when it came. "I can just recede from the family and let them find a different heir," Shizuma continued with, a note of excitement creeping into her tone as she pondered her revelation. "Let them find someone else to do it!" she exclaimed.

Nagisa rolled off the woman beneath her and onto her side facing away from Shizuma. "That's very cruel, Shizuma-oneesama," she pouted angrily. _There is no way she would, or even could, do something like that_, she reasoned. "You shouldn't tease me with such words!"

Shizuma moved onto her own side and sidled over till she was pressed up against the length of the younger girl's body. "Who said I was teasing?" she questioned with a note of confusion in her voice even as she slipped her arm around Nagisa's waist, pulling their bodies snuggly together. "I would gladly give it all up if it was for you," she declared softly, her warm breath brushing the back of Nagisa's head gently.

"How could you?" Nagisa asked in a soft voice as she leaned back into her lover's embrace. Despite what she knew to be the reality of their situation, she desperately wanted to believe in the impossible. That there just might be a bright future for Shizuma which had a place in it, no matter how small it may be, for herself was something she had not dared to dream of. "There are so many people counting on you, Shizuma Onee-sama! I could never ask you to make such a sacrifice for me."

"I never asked them to count on me," Shizuma said, frustration entering her words. "I didn't ask to be born into the Hanazono clan after all," she added to reiterate her point. "It wouldn't be just for you but rather for us, my Nagisa," Shizuma continued with trying to win her lover over to her line of reasoning. When only silence met her words she sighed heavily and gently rested her cheek atop the side of the smaller girl's head. "You don't have to give me your answer right now," she whispered, her words softly brushing across Nagisa's ear. "Just think it over for now, my little Daisy."

Nagisa couldn't suppress the shiver of delight she felt as Shizuma's warm, moist breath brushed seductively across the fine hairs near her ear. "Shizuma-oneesama," the slender red head enquired, her heart beat hastening as she felt the woman behind her snuggle in closer. The softness of Shizuma's breasts pressed into the back of her shoulders was making it increasingly difficult to think coherently. "B…but aren't you leaving soon?" Nagisa nearly melted into her goddess as she felt Shizuma's soft lips kiss the nape of her neck suggestively.

"The day after tomorrow," Shizuma replied after succulently sliding her lips from the other girl's person. The former Étoile couldn't help but grin as she felt Nagisa's body go slack against hers. "The graduation ceremony is tomorrow and then dinner with the family in the evening. The following morning I'll be boarding a plane for France and travel abroad which, as I told you previously, I'm required to do so," she answered.

The realization that this would most likely be the last time they would be together in this manner for the next two years cut through the pleasurable fog that was quickly dulling the young girl's thoughts. Without realizing it Nagisa grasped Shizuma's arm that was around her midsection and pulled it in tightly as if to hold her in place. "Do you really have to go so soon," Nagisa asked, attempting to sound normal and failing miserably. Even to her own ears her words sounded whiny and pouting.

Nagisa listened as Shizuma explained that there was little they could do until she herself had completed high school. The petite red head knew that this would coincide with the ending of Shizuma's travel abroad. With gentle words of reassurance, promises of correspondence and that the time would pass quickly as well as plans to work out the details in two years' time, Nagisa's worries were for the moment placated.

"You know," Shizuma said in a seductive voice which caused the younger girl's pulse to begin racing once more, "I'm not gone yet and it _is_ several hours till morning…" Soft full lips nibbled at Nagisa's shoulder as a delicate hand slid along the younger woman's body and cupped one pert breast, brushing the hardening bud atop it. Nagisa's soft moan of pleasure accompanied with the manner in which she thrust her chest forward further into Shizuma's hand was all the encouragement the older woman required. "Time to sample my favorite flavor," Shizuma breathed huskily into Nagisa's ear as she released the captured orb of softness and with agonizing slowness slide her hand lazily down the length of her lover's torso to the juncture between Nagisa's legs.

Nagisa awoke to the sound of her own voice moaning and her entire body feeling flushed and fevered. Her breathing came quick and ragged as the tendrils of the dream and the pleasurable sensations it had imparted to her slowly released her sleep fogged awareness. The now brunette groaned in disappointment at awakening before the dream had finished, remembering that she had screamed her lover's name multiple times through that night and into the early morning. Being their last time together, neither of them slept at all the entire night. Looking back, Nagisa was reminded all too clearly of the sore muscles she had for days after that marathon of passionate love making. It also brought to mind for her memories of why she had left in the first place.

Lifting her head from her knees she glanced over the balcony's railing at the green landscape in the distance. Less than a ten minute walk from where she was now had brought her to carefully tended farmland when she had gone for a stroll earlier that day. Having slept very poorly, she had hoped that the added exercise of moving her legs would tire her body to the point that she would manage several hours of uninterrupted slumber. Stiffly she put her feet down and stretched her lower extremities to ease the muscles which gave a twinge of protest after being in one position for so long. Pieces of the dream filtered through her mind, once more playing out the circumstances of that day. "It all seemed so simple and clear cut back then," she said aloud to herself. "I would graduate high school, she would return and we'd live happily ever after." Nagisa stood up and stepped back in to the room, pausing to glance about once again at the sparsely furnished room. "If this is happily ever after, I want my money back," she said, continuing to talk to herself.

After washing her face to finish waking up, Nagisa left the second floor apartment. Slipping down the stairs she walked the short two streets to a ramen stand she had spotted earlier while out walking and exploring the neighborhood. Taking a seat at the far end of the counter she ordered their seafood bowl and waited for it to arrive. _Just when did everything change_, she pondered silently. Looking back now she couldn't see any one specific event that triggered it.

After Shizuma left she had, as anyone would suspect, felt incredibly lonely. Tamao, Chiyo, Yaya as well as the other members of their late night tea parties had all worked hard to keep her in good spirits. A soft smile graced Nagisa's face upon recalling how wonderfully supportive her friends had been. _Perhaps that is where it started? I think through their efforts I came to realize what it was to rely on others._ Nagisa smiled her thanks to the cook who set a steaming bowl before her, "Arigatou," she intoned before starting to eat.

True to her word, Shizuma had written letters weekly, even daily sometime as her scheduled allowed. The missives, written in her lover's clear flowing writing helped her feel still connected to the woman who was absent from her sight but not her heart. As the weeks turned into months and the seasons changed, Nagisa was frequently called to the school office to collect some package or other item that had been delivered for her. The emerald-eyed goddess passed up no opportunity to send along some present or other when the chance presented itself. Nagisa smiled fondly thinking of the intricately carved wooden music box that even now sat upon the nightstand next to her bed back in the apartment. The item had arrived one day with postmarks indicating that it came from Switzerland. Nagisa treasured each and every gift even though she felt less than worthy of them. Many nights she had sat and listened to the clear sweet melody which always seemed to calm and relax her, however not of late.

If it hadn't been for her dear friends she was certain she wouldn't have survived those two years at Astraea Hill. As time passed she thought more and more about how she was dependent upon her friends and the fact that she was blessed to have those she could depend upon. It never crossed her mind that her friends were similarly dependent on her as well as that is the nature of true friendship. The ability to rely on one another and support each other when needed. Though she herself worked to bolster her friend's own flagging spirits at times, her actions were simply normal and hence viewed as nothing special to her way of thinking. The more she thought about the matter the more she wondered about all those that were counting on Shizuma and what would happen to them in the future.

_If I take her away from them who will they rely on? What will become of Shizuma-oneesama's father and family?_ These were questions to which her young and inexperienced mind had no answers. As time progressed the unanswerable concerns began to weigh heavily upon her small shoulders. _I'm certain Shizuma-oneesama will come to regret being with me if I were to take her away from all the people that need and rely upon her. If that were to happen perhaps she would even come to hate me? How will she manage without all that she has known since birth? What of me? How selfish am I to even consider her sacrificing everything for me?_

Nagisa shook her head to clear away the memories of those thoughts that had finally driven her to run away from the woman she loved. Having finished her ramen, she paid for it and left the stand to walk back to her rented apartment. As she traversed the narrow streets, evening began to fade into night. Nagisa recalled that on the day of her graduation, with Shizuma seated in the audience, she had walked up upon the stage and accepted her diploma with trembling hands. Walking off the side of the stage, she had barely even slowed as she slipped out the back of the building after collecting a backpack of clothing and other essentials that she had previously stashed behind the stage area. _I've been running ever since_, she mused. _All because I didn't want to take her away from those that needed her. Better that I alone need her than all the others_, she told herself for the countless time.

Nagisa felt her heart ache as once again she saw her Shizuma getting out of the white sedan in front of the hotel she had last been at. "Shizuma-oneesama," she said softly in a choked sob even as she felt tears well up in her eyes. _Shizuma…I need you!_ Suddenly the red head dyed brunette stopped, frozen in place. Like the crisp clear note issuing from the bell tower of the church set top of Astraea Hill, she had a thought that at first paralyzed her in place and then had her running for the apartment and the phone within it. _Shizuma-oneesama….who were you relying on_? Scrambling up the stairs she fumbled for the key to the apartment, finally managing to retrieve it from her pants pocket. With trembling hands she inserted the key and threw open the door. Without even bothering to extract the key from the lock, Nagisa dashed to the bed and lifted the receiver even before her backside hit the mattress. Quickly she punched in the number that would forever be engraved into her memory and anxiously waited as the line rang.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Once more I feel the need to apologize for the slow updates on this story. I have no real excuse other than the fact that the Muse has been off working on other projects in other fandom's and hasn't spared much time for this effort. The good news is, here's a chapter! The better news is that I'm almost finished with the next chapter as well. The bad news is that the story will probably be wrapped up in chapter 9. Hard to believe it's taken so long to write so little. ;-) Gomen and I hope you enjoy!

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the **_Strawberry Panic!_** light novel series.


	8. Surrender

**Chapter 8 - Surrender**

Emerald eyes scanned the reception area of the building one last time as she walked through it, the stiletto heels of her black shoes tapping out a loud rhythm which drowned out the softer steps of the man beside her. She had spent the morning directing the movers who had arrived to pack up her personal belongings which would then be placed in storage. There had been a small gathering of employees who wished her well and said they would certainly miss her. As far as impromptu office parties went, it wasn't bad.

For nearly three years now she had led the telecommunications division of the Hanazono holdings. In that time she had grown it from a small, obscure department to one of the top ten revenue generating divisions within Japan. Shizuma knew that she would miss the daily challenges the position of department head had brought with it.

"Are you certain of this, Shizuma?" the man next to her asked as they stepped through the front doors of the building and out onto the wide sidewalk in front of the tall skyscraper. "It's not too late to reconsider."

"I know, Father," Shizuma replied, squinting at the sudden bright sunlight till she managed to slip on her sunglasses. "I think I'm making the right decision," she told him even though she still held considerable fears and doubts.

"Well, I trust your judgment," the elder Hanazono replied while they each awaited their ride. "It won't be easy to replace you."

"I'm certain you'll manage," Shizuma replied with a soft smile at the compliment. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that her father never had a shortage of qualified and experienced personnel he could recruit from. Hanazono holdings were vast and filled with a multitude of talented people, many far more capable than she believed herself to be. Where once it would have pained her to admit this, her journey into the working world for the past several years had opened her eyes. Not just to her strengths but also to her own very real limitations. Just because her last name was Hanazono did not automatically mean she was an expert at everything.

"There are many skilled people who can easily do my job, Father. Just don't take too long on deciding who it will be. I would hate to see all my hard work over the past three years fall apart while you drag your feet naming a successor for my position," she chided him gently, realizing he really didn't want her to leave. "I have no intentions of returning," she told him to make certain he clearly understood and wasn't harboring delusions of her rushing back after a few days.

"True as that may be," her father replied thoughtfully, "There are none that I can trust as implicitly as I can you," he offered with a slight smile for a brief moment before his features once more became serious. "What of that other matter? Did you finally manage to find her?" Shizuma nearly gasped at his words, realizing then that she should have known that she couldn't fool her father. "For my only child to suddenly take such an intense interest in the telecommunications industry I knew there had to be a reason other than just business experience," he explained with a knowing grin at her reaction.

Shizuma chuckled softly before answering. "Yes and no," she finally replied. "I'm not nearly as smart as I thought I was apparently."

"How so?" her father questioned.

"It took me nearly four years to realize that she doesn't want to be caught," Shizuma confessed in a sad and disappointed tone, her own features serious once more.

"You sound certain of that?" he stated more than asked. "We often err when assuming what the thoughts of others are, especially in matters of the heart…theirs or ours"

"I would agree with you if this were some new affair or even just a few weeks old," she replied with a sigh. "It's been nearly four years, Father. No," she added with a resolute shake of her head, "I've ruined her life for long enough. It is well past the time to let her proceed with her life and I with mine."

"And you're content with this?" he probed.

"No!" Shizuma snapped back in frustration. "How could I ever be satisfied with anything less than being by her side? But it's been four years!" Shizuma added seeing her father arch a brow in question. "I may be slow but even I can take a hint after so long."

"Were your mother still with us," the head of the Hanazono clan said, startling Shizuma. It had been over twelve years since her mother's unexpected death and she could count on one hand the number of times her father had spoken of his wife. It was a painful subject for the both of them and so through mutual silent consent they rarely mentioned the woman of whom Shizuma herself was a spitting image. "Were I separated from her as you are, I would move heaven and hell to get back to her."

"And if that was not enough?" the silver-haired daughter asked insistently. _I may not have moved the actual heaven or hell, but I did all I could here among the living_, she told herself.

Her father shrugged and sighed as well, having no answer for her at that moment. "What will you do now?" he asked instead, changing the subject as there was nothing to add to the former one.

Shizuma watched as her own white sedan, followed closely by a black limousine, pulled up to the curb before them. "I'm not certain. I think I may travel abroad for a bit," she told him as the drivers got out and stepped to the back of their respective vehicles to open the rear passenger doors. "I've been so focused on everything for the past four years that I have not taken any vacation time. Maybe I'll visit the South China Sea. I hear the weather there is nice this time of year and the water is beautiful."

"We own several hotels down that way through one of our subsidiaries," he informed her of, not liking the weary tone of her voice. _Perhaps some rest will do her well_, he thought to himself, recalling that he had observed earlier how thin she was starting to become. "If you do go there be sure to make use of them."

"Why? So you can keep tabs on me?" she asked playfully, forcing a smile on her face. "I still have some personal matters to attend to here so it will be a day or two before I go anywhere," she said as she stepped forward and gave him a very uncharacteristic hug as it might be some time before she saw him again.

"I am your father after all," he replied, returning her hug. "I have to leave tonight for Hong Kong. If you do decide to make the trip down there let me know and maybe I can get away for a day or two at some point to join you," he offered.

"Thank you," Shizuma said as she stepped back from him, holding him loosely at arm's length. "For always putting up with me," she added upon seeing his puzzled expression.

Her father smiled gently. "Your mother would be proud of the woman you've become," he told her softly, and then with a slight nod he turned and walked to his waiting limo even as she walked to her sedan and seated herself in the back seat.

"I need to go to the beach house," she informed the driver once the woman had closed the rear door and retaken her seat behind the steering wheel. As the car pulled out into traffic and sped off, she slipped her cell phone from her purse and speed dialed the desired number.

"Shizuma! What's wrong? Did something happened?" Miyuki's nervous voice asked from the other end of the call when it connected.

Shizuma grinned at the anxious sound of her friend's voice as she leaned back into the plush seat of the car. "What? Can't a friend call a friend just to talk?" she asked teasingly.

"No, not when it's you," Miyuki replied matter-of-factly. "This is the first time in nearly four years that you've called me without me having called you first and left you a message requesting a call back."

"Really?" Shizuma asked, surprised by that fact.

"Really," the other woman affirmed. "So why the sudden call," Miyuki asked.

"I know how you worry so I thought I would call and tell you that I'm going to be out of the country for a while," Shizuma said as she saw no reason not to tell the other woman the truth.

There was a long pause from the other end before Miyuki finally replied in a tone of utter disbelief, "Really?"

"Really, really," Shizuma answered. "I knew if I didn't tell you that you'd just worry yourself sick."

"What are you going to do about work," Miyuki asked.

"I resigned my position," the former department head informed her friend.

"How did your father take that?" the woman asked on the other end of the call.

"Rather well actually," Shizuma replied while glancing out the windows absently at the passing cityscape. "He actually was in town and came to see me off when I left the office. We just parted as he's on his way to Hong Kong," she stated conversationally.

"What…what about….," the other woman's word's trailed off, unable to complete her sentence as she did want to hurt her friend.

Shizuma glanced down to her other hand which now held Nagisa's old phone, having just removed it from her purse. Flipping the phone open, her thumb held the power button down till the phone shut off. Only then did she close the phone and drop it back into her purse.

"I took care of it," Shizuma finally said. "Miyuki…I'm tired," she confessed wearily before her longtime friend could ask anything further.

She wanted to tell her closest friend that she had come to the realization that she was not what Nagisa wanted but she knew that if she did that she would just needlessly worry Miyuki. "I doubt there will be cell phone coverage where I'm going. I'm on my way to the beach house right now to pack a few things and see that the place is closed up before I leave. I'm not sure just how long I'll be away. If you're free this afternoon perhaps we can have lunch together?"

"That sounds wonderful," Miyuki replied. "However you must let me cook for you. I have it on good authority that you haven't been eating well." The former President of Miator's Girls' Academy insisted till Shizuma finally relented and agreed, realizing the Tamao must have said something. Given everything that had happened, Shizuma was glad that the two of them weren't keeping secrets from each other. "It has been ages since I was last at the beach house," Miyuki confessed.

"It will be just like old times," Shizuma replied with a smile, wishing that it could be but knowing it would never be the same again. After they set a time and said their farewells Shizuma dropped the call and returned the phone to her purse.

Upon arriving at the beach house she placed a call to inform the care takers that she would be leaving the next day and that they could come and close up the house. In the early afternoon Miyuki arrived as planned and they enjoyed a nice lunch on the side veranda. They talked about their time at Astraea Hill when they were young and before their high school days. The dear friends studiously avoided any topic that had to do with the missing red head or might lead to memories of her.

As the sun was beginning to set they said their farewells but not before Miyuki extracted a promise from Shizuma to stay in touch, even if only by postal mail.

Shizuma sighed softly as she watched the tail lights of the car taking her friend home drive away down the private road. Walking back into the house she locked the doors and turned off the lights before making her way upstairs. Slipping a key out from under her blouse she took it in hand, the silver chain attached to it sparkled in the light from the ceiling fixture above the small landing area. Shizuma unlocked the room next to hers and then with one foot pushed in several empty file boxes she had found in a back room. "I'm home," she started to say but then stopped. _What's the point_, she asked herself as she flipped on the only light in the room.

Starting with those affixed to the door itself she began removing the pictures of Nagisa, tossing them into an empty box till it was filled, before beginning on the next box. Shizuma paused, a colored 8 x 10 glossing picture in her hand of herself and Nagisa dancing together. A soft wistful smiled played across her full lips as her eyes drank in the sight of her love.

"We were happy then, weren't we?" she asked the image in the photograph. The still shot was taken during the Holiday Ball, one of the few events jointly attended by all three schools, St. Miator's Girls' Academy, St. Spica's Girls' Institute, and St. Le Rim's Girls' School. They had danced the night away that evening. So much so that they both had aching feet at the night's end and wound up sitting facing each other massaging each other's tired tootsies.

With a resigned sigh Shizuma tossed the picture into the box and moved on to the next one. Little by little the walls were bared of all the images that she had collected from almost everyone that had ever come into contact with the slender red head. As the last picture entered the box she slipped on the lid and carried the cardboard receptacle to the landing to stack with the others. Tomorrow she would have one of the cleaners haul them down to be disposed of. Shutting off the light she closed the door without locking it. There was now no need, with there being nothing further to hide.

Shizuma stepped into her own room, switching on the lights as by now it was completely dark. Wearily she stripped off her clothes, leaving them in a pile upon the floor, before walking into the bathroom and turning on the water. The silver haired goddess quickly showered, being certain to clean the dirt and dust from her long tresses. _Maybe I should get it cut_, she mused to herself, wondering what she would look like with short hair. Too tired to think about it properly she rinsed her hair and drew a bath, submerging herself into its steaming waters with a contented sigh of satisfaction. As she soaked, her mind drifted back to the evening of the ball and what occurred afterwards.

"Shizuma-oneesama, can I sleep with you tonight?" Nagisa's tired voice nearly begged.

Shizuma couldn't help but grin lecherously as she looked to the younger girl walking next to her. "So bold, my little Daisy," she replied playfully.

"Th…that's no…not what I meant," Nagisa stammered even as her cheeks blossomed a bright healthy pink sheen to them. "My feet and legs are killing me and I'm not sure I can make it all the way back to my room," she quickly explained.

"That has to be one of the better excuses I've heard," Shizuma replied knowingly, "especially as my own extremities feel much the same as yours." Seeing the hopeful look in the young red head's eyes she didn't have the heart to do less than grant her request.

The impulse to deny Nagisa nothing was fast becoming a problem. When faced with the smaller girl's puppy dog eyes, her own resolve always seemed to melt away. _Perhaps the problem is with me?_

"I guess it would be alright," Shizuma finally replied in an exaggerated tone as if it was some great concession on her part. Shizuma knew her partner was not fooled by her antics, and Nagisa's answer squeal of joy truly did make it all worthwhile. _To have something so minor make her so happy…I truly am fortunate to have her in my life!_ "There is a price to be paid however," she informed the nearly rejuvenated fourth year student beside her. "Few things in life are free after all," she stated.

The remainder of the way to her room Nagisa tried to obtain what exactly the payment would be, but to no avail. "Shizuma-oneesama, that's not fair," she said, finally resorting to pouting even as they drew to a stop in front of the door to the older girl's room.

Shizuma turned about, her back towards the door to her own room, to face the red head. "Last chance. You either accept the conditions as they are or you walk your tired little toes on down the hall and eventually to your own room."

Nagisa thought for a long moment hoping the woman she loved would relent and tell her the price.

"Fine, have it your way," Shizuma finally stated with a dramatic sigh before turning back towards the door as if dismissing the younger girl.

"Fine!" Nagisa yelped quickly, scared she really would be turned away. "You win," she added with her lower lips protruding ever so cutely.

The silver hair before Nagisa shifted as Shizuma looked back over her shoulder. "You'll pay whatever price I demand?" she asked, receiving a nod of assurance from Nagisa, before turning back and opening the door with a knowing smile. _As if I would ever send you away after asking to spend the night with me my little Daisy_, she mused silently to herself while entering the room.

Once they were in the room and the door was closed behind them, she made certain it was locked. _It wouldn't do to have someone walk in on us after all._ "Please unzip me," she instructed reaching behind her head and pulling her hair out of the way. After only a slight pause she felt the tightness of her gown loosen as the smaller girl complied. With practiced ease she slipped from the dress, stepping out of its folds. Once free she reach down and picked it up and turned handing it to Nagisa. "Please hang this up and then do the same with yours," she instructed before turning and heading into the bathroom.

Nagisa, uncertain what to make of the situation as yet, carried the dress over to the closet and pulled out the hanger for it and carefully hung the beautiful gown up. Reaching under her left arm she unzipped her own dress and repeated the process Shizuma had done in removing her dress just moments before.

Reaching into the closet she extracted the hanger for her dress, never questioning how it got there from her own room where she had left it earlier that day. After hanging the dress and closing the closet door she turned around just as Shizuma returned with a steaming container in her hands and several towels draped over one arm.

Shizuma allowed her eyes to traverse the smaller girl's frame briefly, covered now by a thin slip and the undergarments beneath it. "Strip," she said as she set the small steaming container on the nightstand next to the bed and began arrange the towels to cover the bed they would be sharing later.

Huh?" Nagisa asked, certain she hadn't heard correctly.

"I said strip," the older girl repeated even as she herself pulled her slip off and dropped it to the floor next to her. "I would hate for you to get your lacy undergarments stained," she continued in way of explanation even as she grasped the front of her bra and unhooked the strapless number, allowing it to fall to the floor as well. "They'll just in the way after all."

Nagisa turned away, blushing to the roots of her hair after staring for longer than she thought proper at her senior's wonderful pale endowments. "Al….alright," she stammered as she nervously pulled her slip over her head, dropping it to the floor as well. A quick glance towards the bed and she saw her lover without a stitch of clothing on, positioning herself to lie upon her stomach.

Far slower and a great deal more self-conscious than the woman upon the bed, Nagisa removed her remaining articles of clothing. Upon turning she saw Shizuma's emerald orbs staring at her hungrily. It was that look which always set her pulse to racing with a mixture of both excitement and fear. "What now?" she asked as she attempted to cover her personal areas as best as she could without actually appearing to be doing so.

Shizuma chuckled watching the slender girl who by all rights should not be so thin with all the desserts she consumed. "You know this isn't the first time we've seen each other naked?" If it were possible, Nagisa's blush deepened which only served to amuse the prone woman all the more. Taking pity on the nervous little red head she finally relented. "In there," she stated, nodding her head towards the steaming contained she had carried in, "you'll find a bottle of massage oil. It should be nice and warm by now."

"What do you want me to do with it?" Nagisa asked even though the answer should have been apparent. Between her racing pulse, the blushing embarrassment of standing nude before another in a well lit room, and her general exhaustion from a night spent dancing it really wasn't her fault that she couldn't think straight. Add to that the biggest distraction of all, the love of her life lying nude upon the bed a scant few feet away openly ogling her and it was a wonder she hadn't fainted as yet.

"I want you to apply it to me of course," Shizuma patiently explained. She had learned that her presence sometime had this effect on the younger girl, keeping her from think coherently even about the simplest of matters. When this happened there was nothing to be done about it but to treat her gently till such time as Nagisa's nervousness went away.

The petite red head stepped to the side of the bed and retrieved the bottle of oil from what she discovered was a container of hot water. Flipping open the top of the bottle she poured a generous amount into one cupped palm, the pleasant scent of vanilla beans arose enticingly. "It smells nice," she offered nervously as she rubbed her hands together and then lowered them and began massaging the oil into Shizuma's closest calf muscle. Nagisa slowly calmed down and smiled softly as she could feel the woman she loved relaxed under her gentle, yet persistent, ministrations.

"Oh that feels wonderful," Shizuma purred softly as Nagisa's strong slender fingers glided smoothly from near her ankle, upwards to the back of her thigh and back down again. The purring woman recalled absently that even at their first meeting she had noticed just how strong her lover's hands were when Nagisa had grasped her proffered hand in greeting. _Her touch was nothing like my other daisies_, she thought once again, echoing her thoughts of that day. Shizuma moaned none too softly as Nagisa's fingers slipper across a particularly sore spot. "Have I told you recently how much I love you?"

Nagisa chuckled softly as she climbed upon the bed and straddled her lover's other foot and began to massage a fresh supply of oil into that leg next. "And what is that you love most about me I wonder?"

"Right this instant? Your hands…definitely your hands," the silver maned goddess purred with undisguised pleasure.

"I suspected as much," Nagisa said with a soft laugh as she scooted forward slightly and ran a hand up the back side of both legs at once, allowing her strong finger to kneed tired muscles as they went. "Is there nothing else you like about me?" she teased as her oil moistened fingers slipped over the shapely curves of Shizuma backside, eliciting another moan of pure bliss.

"At the moment, not as much as your hands, Though," Shizuma paused for a second and lifted the lower half of the leg that Nagisa was currently straddling till the heel of her foot encountered the smooth softness of the red head's own backside. "That's pretty good as well," she admitted with a chuckle upon hearing the slight squeak of surprise that escaped from the girl massaging her.

Nagisa remained quiet for a long moment while she worked on Shizuma's hips as well as regained her composure. The tap upon her posterior had both surprised and delighted her to think that the woman she loved liked her own body. "Where else should I massage you with oil?"

"Everywhere," was the sleepy response from the head resting upon the pillow.

"Everywhere?" Nagisa asked incredulously, to which she only received a slight nod of confirmation. The petite red head swallowed heavily once. "Everywhere, everywhere?"

"Every nook and cranny," Shizuma replied in a slightly more wakeful tone of voice as she cracked open one large emerald eye and looked back at the smaller girl who was sitting astride the back of her knee by then.

Nagisa heart started to race at the prospect of exploring every inch of the woman she loved more than any other person in her life. "That's what you want in way of payment?"

"No, that's only half of it," Shizuma replied pulling her arms up so that she could mover her hair out of the way as well as leverage herself up onto her elbows to better see Nagisa while tucking her hair beneath her.

"What's the other half," Nagisa asked innocently, fearing she already knew the answer.

Shizuma lips turned upwards in a large smile. "Then I get to give you a massage!"

"EH!" exclaimed Nagisa loudly, having guessed correctly but none the less startled by the woman's words.

Shizuma awoke with a start, splashing water about as she flailed for a moment before grasping the side of the tub. The water was decidedly cooler than when she had climbed into the bath. With considerable effort she pulled herself out of the water and dried herself off before stumbling to her bed and climbing under the covers without bothering to dress. It wasn't long before sleep claimed her and once more her dreams were filled with images of a slender red head to whom she had long ago surrendered her heart.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Well here is another update. That's two in one week! I believe we're nearing the end of the story with the next chapter being the final one. If it should turn out to be overly long I may break it into two chapters, however as it stands I think one will suffice. I want to thank everyone who has hung in there over the last year or so while this short story played out. Not being high on the priority list it certainly didn't get the regular updates it should have and yet you stayed with it. For that you have my thanks!

Back in November of 2011 when I started this I selected the title of "Thirst & Hunger" on a whim due to the first two chapters. Now as the story draws to a close the title, in my opinion no longer fits the story. Just prior to posting the final chapter I'll be renaming the story to "Fates", which just so happens to also be the title of the final chapter. So please do not be overly confused when you receive the email notification for a story who's name you're not familiar with.

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the _**Strawberry Panic!**_ light novel series


	9. Fates

**Chapter 9 - Fates**

Nagisa listened to the line on the other end ring for a third time, her heart dropping lower with each consecutive ring. _Where is she_, her mind feverishly asked. _Why isn't she answering the phone?_ After the third ring there was an electronic click and a long pause before she heard the voice of the woman she longed to hear. "Shizuma-oneesama!" the former red head exclaimed only to have any further words she might have spoken freeze in her throat at what she heard.

"Nagisa-chan, if you're hearing this then I can but hope you will listen to it in its entirety and refrain from hanging up after your customary thirty seconds. I promise this will be the last time that you hear from me. Once this recording is complete it, along with this number and any records of it will be deleted." Nagisa sat frozen in place as there was a slight pause on the other end of the call as if the older woman was gathering her thoughts.

"I don't know where to start," the emerald eyed goddess's voice intoned through the receiver. "Saying I am sorry seems most inadequate for what I have done to you, my little Daisy. There are a great many things I would beg forgiveness for were you here right at this moment. Knowing your feelings towards me, this was the best course of action to take so as not to distress you further. I'm only sorry that it has taken me nearly four years to realize the fact."

"I am more sorry than you will ever know for ruining the last four years of your life, if not six actually. Though, I would like to think that the time before your graduation was as wonderful for you as it was for me." Once more there was a slight pause in the message. "There is no longer a need for you to run, Nagisa. I will no longer chase after you. I realize your life is your own and you should be able to live it where and with whomever you wish. So please, find a place where you can settle down. Have a life that _you_ want to live and not one someone else wants for you to have."

"I want you to have everything you deserve in life. Find a place to call home and someone to love, who will love you just for you," the silver-haired woman continued, her voice becoming ever more emotional as the message progressed. "Just know that I have always truly loved you and I think, regardless of everything, I always shall." There was another pause in the message and Nagisa was certain she could hear soft quiet sniffles just before the voice of the woman she loved returned once again.

"You needn't concern yourself with me any longer," the soft voice of Shizuma informed her. The older woman's tone was once more controlled yet Nagisa could hear the strain within it. "I think a change of scenery is called for and hence will be leaving tomorrow for some place warm and with a great deal of sunshine and sand," the older woman chuckled softly. "I'm looking forward to drinking those fruity little drinks that are far too strong and sweet enough to make every dentist cringe. As I'm not certain when you'll hear this message, I may very well already be there working on my tan." Nagisa could clearly hear the forced bravado in the voice on the phone and her heart ached upon knowing the woman she loved was in such pain and trying to suppress it for her benefit.

"Nagisa, I hope that you can find happiness and that you live a life filled with wonder, love and everything you deserve. A few extra desserts wouldn't be a bad thing either," the woman's voice said with a soft throaty chuckle. There was one last long pause before Shizuma's voice continued. "There is little more that I can say. Nagisa, please know that no matter where you are, what you are doing, there is always someone who loves you! Goodbye, my little Daisy," the final words were croaked out in an emotional gasp as with a final beep the call dropped and the line went dead.

A stiff breeze could have blown the seated girl over. Nagisa sat frozen in stunned disbelief when the message finished and the line disconnected. A slow shudder seemed to traverse her entire frame at once, finally shaking her from her stupor. "Shizuma-oneesama," she exhaled softly. Blinking several times she looked at the phone in her hand as if amazed to find it there. With a trembling finger she reached down and redialed the number again only to receive the standard recorded message that the number no longer being in service. After several more attempts yielded no change to the message she set the receiver back in the cradle with a trembling hand.

"What do I do now?" she asked herself aloud in the darkness of her room. A glance towards the still opened front door of the room showed a street light that illuminated the road which ran along the front of the apartment building. The night sky above, what could be seen of it, was dark with the faintest hint of twinkling stars which could just now be seen. Off in the distance she vaguely heard the passage of a train as it sped along its metal tracks for parts unknown. "Where should I go?" she asked the darkness around her.

After nearly four years of continual flight she suddenly had no reason to run any further. She was a captive bird who had suddenly been given her freedom. All she need do is spread she wings and fly away from the life she had known. "Why? Why instead do I feel as if my wings have been clipped?" she asked even as tears began to leak from her eyes and drop sporadically into her lap. Nagisa suddenly realized that without Shizuma in her life she had no reason to soar among the clouds.

"I have to tell her!" she suddenly exclaimed, thrusting herself to her feet. "I can't let her leave without her knowing that I was the one who was wrong," she told herself even as she began to gather her few possessions and toss them into her backpack. _Shizuma-oneesama needed me and I ran away! I let her down. I was the one she tried to rely on!_ Nagisa gently packed the music box last before zipping up the bag and slinging it over her shoulder. _I've been such a fool!_ In a few moments the slender girl was out the door, down the stairs and walking briskly towards the train station.

**-oOo-**

Shizuma awoke with a start, the notes of the ringtone of her cellphone echoing in her ears even as it rang once again. For a brief moment she knew nothing but panic till she realized it wasn't Nagisa's phone that was ringing. With that knowledge she recalled that the other phone was even then still in her purse and powered off. Fumbling for the phone on the nightstand she finally managed to grab it, and flipping it open she held it up to her ear.

"Are you insane!" yelled an irate voice from the other end of the call before Shizuma could even offer a word in way of greeting. "How could you just abandon her like that, Shizuma-sama?"

"Good morning to you as well, Tamao-chan," she replied with as she lay back in the large bed and drew the covers up around her. "I take it that Miyuki told you of my plans?"

"How can you just leave the country, leaving her behind to fend for herself?" Tamao asked in an exasperated tone of voice. "I thought after our last talk you understood how important it was to bring her home where she belongs?"

"Where she belongs?" Shizuma repeated the petite girl's words back to her, breaking into her tirade in the process. "Just where does she belong, Tamao-chan?"

"Back here with us," was Tamao's quick response, offered in a tone that clearly indicated she thought the answer an obvious one.

"Who's decision is it that here with us is the correct place for her?" she asked even as she felt her own heart ache with need for that very same thing. "It's Nagisa's life and she should be the only one to decide where she should be." Shizuma chewed on the inside of her cheek for a long moment before continuing. "I'm only saddened that it took me nearly four years to realize that."

"She was waiting to see you!" Tamao persisted stubbornly.

"Waiting to see me or waiting to see if I had given up yet so that she could get on with her life?" Shizuma countered with having already had this same argument with herself. "She'll be free this way, Tamao-chan."

"But any manner of things could happen to her out there," Tamao continued with plaintively through the phone. "If anything happened to her…," the young woman's words trailed off as she couldn't bring herself to say more.

"There is always that chance," Shizuma conceded unwillingly. Just the thought that something might happen to Nagisa like what had occurred to Tamao was enough to nearly cause her to break down weeping once again. "As much as I would love to be by her side to see that does not happen the fact of the matter is that Nagisa has chosen to remain away from me. Perhaps if I remove myself from her life she may allow you back into it," Shizuma offered in an attempt to reason with the girl on the other end of the call.

"Nagisa loves you," Tamao countered with, able to admit the fact more easily now that she had found Miyuki. "I know she does."

"Perhaps," Shizuma replied with as she rolled to one side pulling the covers around her shoulders. "She may have at the beginning but all I've managed to do is alienate her over the past four years. Her actions have clearly shown me that it's no longer the case. It's my own fault, just as anything that should happen to her would be as well," she added in a weary tone. "If I am no longer here or pursuing her she will be able to settle down and surround herself with friends so that nothing bad can ever happen to her. She can live her life and be happy."

"So what will you do?" asked the voice from the receiver when it replied.

"I left her a message," Shizuma explained. "The next time she calls she'll be told that I'm out of the country and that she doesn't have to run any longer as there will be no one chasing her." Shizuma squeezed her eyes shut on the tears she could feel threatening to spill forth. "I truly just want her to have a good life, Tamao-chan. She deserves that. She should find a place to settle down and do what she wishes to do. One day she'll find love and be happy again. That's all I could ever wish for…for her to be happy," she said as one stubborn tear slipped free to trail down a pale cheek before falling upon the pillow.

Tamao sighed heavily, her frustration clear in the one long breath. "So you too will give her up?" she asked, referring to her own actions nearly six years ago.

"I will," Shizuma answered, "though I'm not altogether certain she was ever mine to give up. I don't see it so much as giving her up but rather as setting her free."

"Will you be alright, Shizuma-sama," Tamao asked with more than a small hint of concern in her words. She knew from experience that it was no easy feat to give up someone as special as Nagisa. It had been nearly six years and she was still trying to accomplish it fully.

"As well as either of us can be where our little red head is concerned," Shizuma replied, her lips slipping into a small smile. "Will you be alright?" she asked, turning the tables upon the younger girl.

"I think so," was the hesitant reply after a moment's pause. "I still have hope that she will return," she admitted.

"I hope for your sake, as well as hers, that she does, Tamao-chan." Shizuma said honestly. "If she does, don't ever let her go ever again! In the meantime please take care of Miyuki for me. I know she can be a handful if she doesn't have someone to lecture," Shizuma offered only to hear a soft chuckle from the other end of the line.

"I'll be certain to tell her you said that," Tamao replied. "She is the one who takes care of me though. I don't know what I would do without her."

Shizuma thought back to all the time that she had spent with the former high school president and classmate and all the times Miyuki had been there for her. "I know what you mean. She's something else," she added with an actual grin. "Take care of yourself, Tamao-chan. Arigato for everything."

"You to, Shizuma-sama," Tamao offered around a sudden knot of emotions within her throat. "I…I wish it had turned out differently."

"Me too, Tamao-chan. Bye," Shizuma replied softly before dropping the call. "Me too," she said faintly aloud to the empty room.

Shaking herself from her thoughts she slipped from her bed and made her way to the bathroom to begin her day. In short order she was dressed in a white sundress with a light floral pattern upon it with a large matching hat to keep the sun out of her eyes. It didn't take long to pack a small suitcase, mostly due to there being a limited amount of clothes there at the beach house. _I can always purchase whatever I need once I'm there_, she reasoned to herself. With a last look around the room, knowing not when she would see it again, she said her farewell to it and the memories it held.

Shizuma was not surprised to see that the care takers had already been at work. From the looks of it the majority of the house had been cleaned. The furniture had been wrapped in white covering to prevent dust as well as fading from the sunlight that streamed through the large windows. After a brief breakfast consisting of toast and some vegetables, washed down by some bottled water she called for her car to take her to the airport.

Slipping from the house she walked out onto the front porch so that she would not be in the way of the cleaners. It wasn't long before the care takers were finished and the house was locked up. Shizuma removed the chain and key from around her neck and handed it to the chief care taker, asking that he return the key to her father. Idly she realized that she could hand it to him when he visited her at whichever hotel she landed at but as that was not a certainty she felt better turning it in now.

Shizuma stepped from the porch as the last of the cleaners left the property. Her feet slowly made their way towards the path that led out to the bluff overlooking the sea. "Perhaps one last look," she spoke softly as she stepped upon the path and started walking. Behind her, hidden by the tall shrubbery which concealed the path itself, she heard her car arrive and the driver get out. _She will wait for me_, she told herself, _that is what they get paid for after all_. Without further concern she set aside the thought of the waiting driver and hurried along the short path to the cliff's edge.

The trail opened up upon a flat level area that ran right up to the lip of the bluff. Even before stepping to the edge she could clearly hear the loud thunder of the waves as they assaulted the rocky base of the cliff. The sun warmed her bare arms even as the strong ocean breeze threatened to blow the large wide-brimmed sun hat from her head. Her mind recalled the time she had spent there as a small child with her father and mother. The beach house had always held such warm and wonderful memories for her. Memories of past time with her family as well as with Nagisa filtered through her thoughts.

_I'll miss coming here_, she told herself silently. It was while getting ready that morning that she realized that she wouldn't be returning to Japan. _If I come back to this country I will only once again start searching for her_. She could already hear herself justifying her actions by saying she just wanted to make certain she was alright. Shizuma knew that Miyuki had been correct in calling her obsessed with the petite red head. Even now her heart was aching and she desperately wanted to call and see if her message had been heard as yet, but she somehow managed to refrain from doing so. "Be happy, my Nagisa," she said aloud with a final look out towards the ocean even as a gust of wind blew her hat from her head, setting her mane of silver tresses aflutter in the ocean breeze.

**-oOo-**

Nagisa rode the train into downtown Tokyo and paid for a room for the night. When the sun rose she had gotten herself up and slipped out of the hotel for a bite to eat. The previous evening before going to bed she had checked when the office building she would be visiting would open. Barely minutes after the doors opened to the public the brunette walked through them and up to the front counter. "Excuse me," she said, speaking to one of the security guards stationed there. "Can you please tell me on what floor I can find Hanazono Shizuma?"

"Do you know Hanazono-sama?" the guard inquired giving the woman before him the once over and not liking what he saw.

"I...I do," Nagisa stammered, well aware of her wrinkled clothing and unkempt hair which had been hastily pulled back into a ponytail. "I went to school with her and we're close friends," Nagisa stated, hoping the latter was still true.

"Good friends?" the man questioned skeptically only to see the woman before him nod an affirmation to his words. "So good that she didn't inform you that she no longer works here? She resigned yesterday morning," he explained upon seeing her look of confusion and the manner in which her eyes suddenly began to tear up.

"N…no, that can't be," Nagisa stated in utter disbelief even as she blinked rapidly to stave off the tears she could feel welling up in her eyes. "She has to be here," she told the guard beseechingly. "If she isn't here then how will I tell her? How will she ever know that it was my fault?"

The guard stared at Nagisa for a long moment, bewildered by the woman's actions and words. "I'm sorry, I really can't help you." With a shake of his head he watched the woman turn and slowly retrace her steps from the building.

_Where? Where is she?_ Nagisa stood in the middle of the sidewalk, the thick pedestrian traffic flowing about her as if she wasn't even there. Just thinking that she might not be able to speak with the woman she loved made her heart ache. _She has to know that it is my fault entirely_, she thought as she raised one hand and laid it upon her chest where it hurt. The tips of her fingers lightly tapped the object resting beneath her shirt, dangling between the gentle swell of her breasts. _Would she go there?_ With no better option presenting itself Nagisa hailed a cab and asked him to take her to the train station.

A short train ride to the far side of Tokyo later, she found herself once again within the back seat of a taxi. Far sooner than she would have thought possible the taxi made its way down the private drive leading up to the Hanazono beach house. Even before the car had come to a complete stop Nagisa threw open the rear door, instructing the driver to wait for her as she raced to the front door of the residence. Reaching under her shirt as she went, she withdrew a silver chain to which was attached a key of the same coloring. It had been given to her by Shizuma many years ago. Nagisa was glad that she had held onto it all this time. She could never bring herself to throw it away, feeling that it had been entrusted into her care.

Nagisa inserted the key into the lock of the front door and turned it, smiling upon hearing the mechanism click open. _Good, she hasn't changed the lock._ Stepping into the house she saw that everything was covered as if the house hadn't been used for some time. With rapidly dwindling expectations she made her way to the second floor. A quick look into the room she had once used showed it to be empty of everything including furniture. Puzzled by this she closed the door to it and walked the short distance to the other door. The room behind it, while not bare of furnishings, was none the less cleaned and settled in such a manner to indicate there would be no planned use for some time.

With dragging footsteps and great reluctance Nagisa turned and retraced her steps from the house, pausing to close and lock the front door. With a resigned sigh, believing it would have been too fortunate on her part to find the missing woman here, she stepped back towards the waiting taxi. "Please wait here a few minutes longer," she asked the driver, her eyes looking over the vehicle and spying the entrance through the hedges that led to the bluff overlooking the sea. "I'll be back in just a few minutes." Receiving a nod of understanding from the driver Nagisa walked around the car and made her way through the opening, to the bluff. The truth of the matter was that she needed a few moments alone to herself. As she walked to towards the opening to the path the tears she had been holding back suddenly began to trickle down her cheeks. Lost in thought she paid little attention to her surroundings as she wound her way through the walkway.

As Nagisa stepped from the path her breath caught in her throat even as her eyes grew large and her heart cease to beat for one long agonizing moment. Her feet became rooted in place and she thought for certain she was within a dream. Before her, silver tresses streaming in the strong ocean breeze, was the woman who held her heart and was the sum of her world. The very woman she hungered for, whose touch she had obsessed over, who's absence from her life had filled her with remorse and whom she would gladly surrender all that she was and ever would be for. There was a flicker of white out of the corner of her eye and more on instinct than naught, she reached out and snagged a white wide-brim hat out of the air. Upon looking back towards the figure she saw that her presence had not gone unnoticed.

Shizuma turned following the flight of her hat till she saw it plucked from the air. It was only then that her eyes landed upon a slender brunette who stood just before the mouth of the path back towards the beach house. As the girl took a first staggering step towards her and then another she began to take in the features of the advancing woman. Shizuma could feel her bottom lip begin to quiver slightly even as she hastily raised a hand to cover her mouth and stifle a gasp of disbelief. _It can't be!_ Though every fiber of her being wished that it was her Daisy walking towards her, the rational side of her mind told her that it wasn't possible.

Shizuma made no move to wipe away the tears that unabashedly ran down her cheeks as her eyes took in the sight before her. Brown hair, already reddening at the roots, sat above eyes that held a world of love as well as regret within them. Tears flowed down the woman's youthful cheeks even as they continued to pour down her own. Shizuma's eyes stared at the face which came to a stop just a few feet away from her. Lips, soft and pink, which she had thirsted for continuously over the last four years, turned upwards in a partial, if uncertain, smile. The desire to see that smile had grown to an addiction over the time they had been together. Even now Shizuma felt the urge to say or do something that would make the slender girl smile all the more. With that desire there came a sudden sadness as her heart filled with regrets for all the times over the past years she had caused this girl to do anything other than smile. Shizuma knew at that moment that there was nothing beneath the heavens that she wouldn't gladly sacrifice to be with the woman before her for the rest of her life.

For several long moments they regarded each other, neither daring to move for fear that the dream that they had apparently been whisked away to might suddenly end and come crashing down around them. Shizuma slowly lowered her hand from her mouth and opened her arms.

Nagisa's choked back a sob as she saw her love's arms open in invitation to her. It was more than she had hoped for and yet everything that she needed right at that moment. In less than an instant she was across the short space between them and her arms were wrapped around the taller woman's middle in the same bone crushing embrace she felt from Shizuma's arms which encircled her. The slender woman could feel the tears trickling from the corners of her eyes but could care less as she inhaled the heady scent of the woman she loved. "I'm home, Shizuma-oneesama," she sobbed into the bosom of her emerald eyed goddess.

Shizuma nodded slightly and kissed the side of Nagisa's head affectionately as she tightened her arms around the girl who held her heart. It was several moments before she managed to reply in an equally tear filled and emotionally charged voice. "You're home, my Nagisa!"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

There you have it! I finally managed to wrap up this story that truly stared with no real plot line. Perhaps that is why it took so long to write? ;-) I hope that you've been able to gather some enjoyment from it. It was a different writing style for me and I am happy with how it turned out. While some may not like the ending, I thought it would be best to allow you, the readers, to envision what comes next on your own. I know it wasn't a fluff filled ending however I maintain that the first 8 chapters had enough fluff in them that I hope you'll forgive me for the last chapter being void of it. If not, I humbly request a 5 minute head started before you chase after with torches and pitchforks!

My thanks to everyone who has read along while I slowly developed this tale. Especially to all of you that took the time to write a review and favorite the story itself. It really is your feedback that keeps us writers…well, writing. We love to hear from you so please don't be shy!

A special thanks to DrYuriMom for the much appreciated editing work she did!

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the **_Strawberry Panic!_** light novel series


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